Profound Quotes

You may be deceived if you trust too much but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough - Frank Crane

Saturday, 30 June 2012

My House is Upside Down...

...and I cannot stand it! I spent 3 months packing and most of the house is packed. We were to be in a house tomorrow but we are now at a stand still. I am so frustrated living like this, living through all of these boxes. Zig zagging through small and large boxes just to get to the kitchen or bathroom. 


Some tell me to unpack but I know if I do that I will be told that we have to move, again. A new house search and more bad news. More packing? Right because I have the strength to keep that up.  So, now all I do is wait for the special moment when he comes home and says "pack up, we are moving after all".


I am so tired of not knowing what is going to happen and not having any control over my own life. This is why I say "This is not a life!" I have no idea what my life is worth or what purpose is.


So much time gone because I believed the wrong person. Just my luck, come from one terrible life and move into another one. I have cried over this for years and now it is just stupid and foolish for me to do so.


Milky


13 Things a Movie Theatre


Employee Won't Tell You


How fresh is cinema popcorn, and why are the concessions so expensive? Uncover these and other movie theatre secrets, straight from the source.


By Ilana Strauss


1. No, That Isn't Natural. Why does it smell so good? 


The popcorn has chemicals in it to make its aroma fill the theatre.

2. Better Picture? 

Not So Much “Extreme Digital” is actually lower quality than IMAX digital. We use it because it’s easier to maintain.

3. Why Are Concessions Overpriced? 

For the first month or two of screening, money from ticket sales goes to movie studios. Theatres rely on concession stands to make money, and popcorn costs almost nothing to make.

4. Don't Kid Yourself. 

I know all the methods you use to sneak in. I just don’t always care enough to kick you out for it.

5. Which Foods Will I Eat? 

I only trust the popcorn, drinks, and boxed candy. I wouldn’t eat the pretzels, hot dogs, or nachos.

6. We Don't Actually Agree With You

Chances are, if you complain to the manager and he sides with you, he’s just putting on a show to calm you down. The manager might pretend to yell at me for a minute, but he’ll pat me on the back the moment you’re out of sight.

7. That Special Deal Isn't So Special

Combination deals don’t save you money at some theatres. You’d pay the same price if you purchased the items separately.

8. Don't Trust Serving Sizes

Think you’re saving calories by ordering a small popcorn? That “small” popcorn could have been a medium last month.

9. A Little Patience, Please

Stop getting angry that your food isn't ready. Microwaves can't cook frozen pizzas in 30 seconds!

10. It Seems Dumb, But...

No, I can’t give you extra cups. Everything is inventoried at the end of the night.

11. Your Suspicions Are Correct

Sometimes I sweep excess food under the seats. Movies often end every few minutes. Sometimes, three or more screenings end at the same time. I don’t always have time to clean everything up.

12. Yes, Movies Start Late 

But they almost always end on time – otherwise, the ushers wouldn’t know when to clean up. Theatres tell you to come in early so you have time to watch commercials and previews.

13. Don't Let Temperature Fool You

Popcorn keeps for a day or two. Many customers confuse warm with fresh.



Friday, 29 June 2012

Sachertorte

Austria has a long history and tradition of making some of the finest desserts in the world. If your traveling to Austria or are interested in trying something new or different, here are just a few of their most popular desserts. Just be sure to come prepared with a big appetite!
 
Sachertorte
 

The original Sacher Torte from Hotel Sacher in Vienna, Austria. Sachertorte is often served with unsweetened whipped cream.
 
Made with layers of dense chocolate and apricot jam in the center along with icing on the top and sides, sachertorte is one of Austria’s most well-loved desserts. It is traditionally served with unsweetened whipped cream to compliment its overall taste.
 
Sachertorte was named after its inventor Franz Sacher who created the dessert in 1832 for Wenzel Clemens Prince Metternich. The trademark for the “Original Sacher-torte” is registered by the Hotel Sacher, which was built in 1876 by the son of Franz Sacher.
 
However, Hotel Sacher was involved in a long legal battle with the pastry shop Demel, who had also produced a cake called the “Original Sachertorte.”
 
Numerous tales have circulated to explain how Demel came by the recipe. The cake at Demel is now referred to as “Demels Sachertorte” and differs from the “Original” in that there is no layer of apricot jam in the middle of the cake, but directly underneath the chocolate cover, and covering the entire cake.
 
Today, visitors from around the world come to both Hotel Sacher and The Demel just to sample this famous dessert.
 
Linzertorte
 
Linzertorte is considered to be the oldest torte or cake in the world dating back from the 16th century. It is a short-crust pastry filled with red currant preserves with a decorative lattice pattern on top.
 
The name of the person who first recorded the recipe or named this dessert is unknown. However, the ingredients can be traced back to a 350 year old cook book. These ingredients are still used today when making the “Original Linzer Torte”. For the past 65 years, the confectioner Jindrak has reproduced what is known as the “Original Linzer Torte” throughout Austria


Sachertorte was invented by Viennese chef Franz Sacher who created the dessert in 1832 for Wenzel Clemens Prince Metternich. The cake became famous when Sacher’s son opened the luxury Hotel Sacher. While, the original recipe is kept a hidden secret, this version will satisfy any chocolate lover.
 
Sachertorte is best served with a side of unsweetened whipped cream to compliment the overall taste.
 
Ingredients
 
Cake
 
6 ounces (175 g) semisweet chocolate, chopped
 ¾ cup (125 g) all-purpose unbleached flour
 ¼ teaspoon salt
 ½ cup (150 g) finely ground almonds
 6 large eggs, separated
 1 cup (200 g) granulated sugar
 ½ cup (125 g) unsalted butter
 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
 
Apricot Glaze
 
½ cup (155g) apricot jam
 1 tablespoon water
 
Chocolate Glaze
 
12 oz (375 g) milk chocolate, chopped
 1 cup (250 g) unsalted butter
 2 tablespoon corn syrup
 
Directions
 
Preheat oven to 325F (165 C). Butter an 8-inch cake pan. Line the bottom with parchment (baking) paper cut to fit.
 
In a bowl, combine the eggs whites. Using a large whisk beat as fast as you can until the
 egg whites begin to thicken. Continue beating until soft peaks form. Slowly add ¼ cup (60g) sugar and continue to whisk until stiff peaks form.
 
In another bowl, combine the butter and ½ cup (125 g) sugar. Using a whisk beat vigorously until the mixture is light in color and fluffy. Whisk in the egg yolks two at a time, beating well after each addition.
 
Whisk in the chocolate until blended and then the vanilla. Using a rubber spatula, fold the dry ingredients into the chocolate batter. Fold in half of the egg white mixture and then the remaining.
 
Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake the cake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, about 50 minutes.
 
Let the cake cool in the pan for 15 minutes. Remove cake from pan when completely cooled. Set aside.
 
To make the apricot glaze, in a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the jam and water and heat until the jam melts. Remove from the heat. Press through a fine-mesh sieve into a small bowl. Set aside.
 
Carefully cut cake horizontally to form 2 layers.
 
Using a pastry brush, coat one layer with the apricot glaze. Place the remaining cake layer on top and brush the top and sides of the cake with the remaining apricot glaze.
 
To make the chocolate glaze, place the chocolate, butter and corn syrup into a saucepan on medium heat. Melt all ingredients until combined. Stir occasionally. Remove from the heat and pour glaze through a fine-mesh sieve. Let cool for several minutes before using.
 
Pour glaze on cake. Allow the cake to settle before serving.


EAGLES


EAGLES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUbTW928sMU

   
"Hotel California"

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
"This could be Heaven or this could be Hell"
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain,
"Please bring me my wine"
He said, "We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine"
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said "We are all just prisoners here, of our own device"
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax, " said the night man,
"We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! "

Near six months

It is amazing to me that it is going on six month since I broke down and broke the one person who would listen to me. Who cared about me, who could make me laugh and could make me feel important.


For these last few I have felt nothing but heartache and pain. Grief and sadness. Hopelessness and alone. I have been trying to take away those memories but they are all with me always.


I am sorry,
Milky

A few funny's...


White Ball Poem

In my hand I hold a ball....white and dimpled, rather small....

Oh , how bland it does appear....this harmless looking little sphere....

By its size I could not guess....the awesome strength it does possess....

But since I fell beneath it's spell....I've wandered through the fires of hell..

My life has not been quite the same....Since I chose to play this stupid game....

It rules my mind for hours on end...A fortune it has made me spend....

It has made me swear and yell and cry....I hate myself and want to die....

It promises a thing called par....If I can hit straight and far ....

To master such a tiny ball....should not be very hard at all ...

But my desires the ball refuses....and does exactly like it chooses....

It hooks and slices, dribbles and dies....and even disappears before my eyes....

Often it will take a whim....to hit a tree or take a swim....

With miles of grass on which to land....it finds a tiny patch of sand....

Then has me offering up my soul....if only it would find the hole....

It's made me whimper like a pup....and swear that I will give it up....

And take a drink to ease my sorrow....but the ball knows..... I'll be back tomorrow!!

Golfing With An Older Man


A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him. 

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall."


The Amazing Golf Ball

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!" 

The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it"

"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"

"Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it" What if you hit it into the water"

"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."

"Well, what if you hit it into the woods"

"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."

"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark"

"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"

The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it"

"I found it."


First Putting Lesson

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.

"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t"'' she asked the instructor.

"P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied.

"Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."




It's Called Golf...

The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up work to get his mind off golf. 

Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players!

Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.

The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.

There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly ... or start cheating.

An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice ... once before swinging, and once again, after swinging.

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh.

Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.

There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.

Golf got its name because all of the other four letter words were taken.


Bee Stings Woman

A woman golfer suffers a terrible bee sting and leaves the course to go see her doctor about it.

"What happened" asked the doctor.

"I got stung between the first and second hole," replied the lady golfer.

The doctor replied, "You must have an awfully wide stance!"


Golf Injury

A couple of women were playing golf on a Sunday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. 

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She explained that she was a physical therapist: "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me!", she told him earnestly.

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away an laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him: "How does that feel"

To which he replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."


Cow Pasture Tale


A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through and he would meet them at the clubhouse. They followed the plan and waited for their friend.

After a considerable time he appeared disheveled, bloody, and badly beaten up. They all wanted to know what happened.

He explained that he went over to the cow pasture but could not find his ball. He noticed a cow wringing her tail in obvious pain. He went over and lifted her tail and saw a golf ball solidly embedded. It was a yellow ball so he knew it was not his.

A woman comes out of the bushes apparently searching for her lost golf ball. The helpful male golfer lifted the cow's tail and asked, "Does this look like yours"

That was the last thing he could remember.


Deadly Eight Iron

Off the seventh tee, Brian sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.

After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton!

Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"

"What's the matter" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.

"Bring me my wedge," Brian shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"









The Perfect Shot


A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts.

Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long" Hit the damned ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."


Oregano Pizza & Pasta


A few friends and co-workers have been here a few times and the pasta is very good, as well as the pizza.

Address: 10909 Yonge St, Richmond Hill, Ontario, Canada L4C 3E3

Phone: (905) 884-8600

Oregano Pizza & Pasta restaurant Richmond Hill is just one of many italian eateries satisfying Richmond Hill diners. Comfortable surroundings and resonable prices are just a few of the features offered by this Richmond Hill restaurant.

This is a simple pizza, very light and it is thin crust bake in the stone oven. Very good.


http://www.richmondhillmenus.com/restaurant/mediterranean/italian/oregano-pizza-pasta/#ixzz1zDDrHVfB





No more Cats!!!

Russia, Paris and Beautiful have left the house. No more hellllloooooo, heeellllooo from Russia. No leaps and destroying the window blinds and jumping in your face when you walk into the house and she scares the crap out of you!!!! No more mama bear to keep us up a night crying or hiding all day and night.


No more beating the sh*t out of The "PitBULL" Phoenix in this corner - poor little 100lbs puppy. Against the three "30lbs Total Meanie, Cats" in the other corner.


No more scratching of the furniture and no more getting outside to get down and dirty who the nasty boyz!


My last day was good with them and they are truly going to a wonderful, which in the end is the best for them. They took a long drive to Brooklyn, Ontario and are settling in just fine.


I was still upset but held it together. They will be missed.


Milky

Italian Movies

I never thought it would be so hard to find Italian movies and soap opera's. Lucky for me I have a friend or two that live close to little Italy.


The movies are for my mother in law to help ease her on the lonely days. I just need a way to get the soaps. Those ones are harder, so for now we will have some movie dates.


Milky


Trey Songz- Heart Attack

Warning - there are swear words use in this song and are written in  the lyrics

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmY2mvpwg38

We share, somethin' so charming, still so rare,
and I'm in awe, never been here before,
so high, we're still climbing,
even here inside these walls, 
breaking each others hearts,
and we don't care 'cause we're so,
into deep can't think about givin' it up,
but i never knew love, would feel like a heart attack,
it's killing me, swear i never cried so much,
'cause i never knew love, would hurt this fucking bad,
worst pain that i ever had,
never knew love, would hurt this fucking bad,
worst pain that i ever had,
All the times when i know i should be smilin',
seem to be the time, that i frowned the most,
can't believe that we're still survin',
'cause I'm slowly breakin' down,
even when i hold you close,
And if i lose you, 
I'm afraid i would lose who,
who i gave my love to,
that's the reason i stay around,


even though i fell way, 
[- From :http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/trey-songz-lyrics/heart-attack-lyrics.html -]
into deep can't think about givin' it up,
but i never knew love, would feel like a heart attack,
it's killing me, swear i never cried so much,
'cause i never knew love, would hurt this fucking bad,
worst pain that i ever had,
never knew love, would hurt this fucking bad,
worst pain that i ever had,
and it hurts, cause i wanna leave,
and you wanna leave,
but the love keeps us together,
And if i lose you, 
I'm afraid i would lose who,
who i gave my love to,
that's the reason i stay around,
even though i fell way, 
into deep can't think about givin' it up,
but i never new love, would feel like a heart attack,
it's killing me, swear i never cried so much,
'cause i never knew love, would hurt this fucking bad,
worst pain that i ever had,
never knew love, would hurt this fucking bad,
worst pain that i ever had


these lyrics are submitted by BURKUL2
these lyrics are last corrected by Burkul

new place




Dear PJ and family.

Congratulations!  We hope your new home provides you years of enjoyment and a peaceful retreat from the rest of the busy world.

You are to far away but hopefully my move will bring me closer to you  and we can start that journey, together.

Lots of love and best wishes

Milky

Can you name these logo's?

 Logos Quiz Games.
Description 

This is quiz game full of fun that consists on guessing the names of hundreds of logos from different companies. To achieve this you have a lot of clues which you can use to help you complete the game. You can also ask your friends if you don't know the answer! Challenge them to see who know more logos!

Unlock each level. The more you know, the more hints you will get when you get stuck on a different logo. This help you to get the answer but it is a good way to learn about companies. It is fun and another work the brain out.
Milky    

Legend of the golden mask

The object of the game is to find all of the items on the list for each map. You also find cubes, photograph puzzles and old letters that are puzzle to put together. There are 10 levels and it is a brain teaser.

Enjoy, Milky

http://www.candystand.com/play/legend-of-the-golden-mask


Thursday, 28 June 2012

More about me;

FACT - I curl my hair through my fingers when lost in thought, working or reading
FACT - Old book stores turn me on. 

FACT - I could swim before I could walk at the age of 7 months
FACT - My GPA was 3.9
FACT - My IQ test was 216 at 16 years old
  
LIKE - weeping willow trees
LIKE - Nigella Lawson
LIKE - The earliest known structure built by manlike creatures is a circle of stone blocks that was found in Africa. This “structure” may have been erected as long ago as 1,750,000 B.C.

LIKES - purchasing cook books. I cook from each book one at a time and cook everything in the book.
LIKES - wild flowers.
LIKES - wait! I love! Australian Liquorice! Raspberry, blueberry, mango, apple and the creator of this is my hero! I really want to give him a kiss! (laugh away)
LIKE - A man who will read to me.
LIKE - Halloween - I dress everything up!
LIKE - Pocket watching

DISLIKES - sky diving!
DISLIKES - birds, they are mean! (ok, keep laugh but you do not want to see me around any birds! I am warning you!) I NEED A BB GUN!
DISLIKES - cooked/baked raisins!
DISLIKE - Being buried alive.
DISLIKE - Sleeping (dreams are painful).
DISLIKE - Needles (if another touches me today, I must run away).
DISLIKE - Being ill grrrr

DISLIKE - my birthday (I do not want people fuzzing over me)
  

cLOSER


Kings of Leon - Closer

Stranded in this spooky town
Stoplights are swaying and the phone lines are down
This floor is crackling cold
She took my heart, I think she took my soul
With the moon I run
Far from the carnage of the fiery sun

Driven by the strangled vein
Showing no mercy I do it again
Open up your eye
You keep on crying, baby
I’ll bleed you dry
The skies are blinking at me
I see a storm bubbling up from the sea

And it's coming closer
And it's coming closer

You, shimmy shook my bone
Leaving me stranded all in love on my own
What do you think of me
Where am I now? Baby where do I sleep
Feel so good but I'm old,
2000 years of chasing taking its toll

And it’s coming closer

More bad sick days

The last few days have been very rough for me, health wise. I have been more tired and vomiting a few times a day. Not good. My head is killing me and I have so many aches all over. I just cannot believe how this illness goes from bad to worse to fast. Someday's I do not know if I should hold on or just breakdown and cry. Being sick, alone and no one to talk to has been the hardest part. You were always there for that. Now, it is just me. More bad days and I still have you in my heart.

Milky

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

the drug store

Sorry, My Drug Store. This is just the newest set so, there is so much more. This day was filled with appointments, tests and more illness issues.
Milky

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

More Hospital trips

 There never seems to be a end to how many time I have to visit the hospital for daily check ups and treatments. t really is not easy doing it all alone. Being alone for everything is one of the hardest thing I have ever had to do.


Somedays I wish it would just end because it is taking it's toll on me, while other days I wish I had someone who cared, loved me enough to not quit of me. The price you pay I guess.


Milky

Annmarie Huppert - PTSD



 1.PTSD Symptoms: Silence Kills - Silence about the symptoms of PTSD, its treatable nature, and the violence that causes it, is fueling the fire of stigmatization that keeps people – enlisted and civilian alike – from getting the help they need. Deep within the conscience of America, we know something is not right. An alarm must be sounded - silence kills.

There are a myriad of reasons for the silence. Childhood sexual abuse survivors remain silent as adults because they were threatened to keep the secret during the abuse, they were not believed when they did tell, or their disclosure was met with harsh judgment or brutal silence.

Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs) keep their PTSD secret because they were pressured into denying the reality of their home situation and came to doubt their own perceptions. Having learned not to trust because of being frequently lied to and disappointed by their parents, these survivors also learned to be fearful of the outside world, distrust authorities and institutions, as well as, commit themselves to "keeping the peace" in an effort to stave off personal or family embarassment.


Many survivors are at risk for suicide. Surprisingly, suicide from a survivor’s perspective is not as much about overwhelming depression as it is about taking back control. It is an attempt to stop secondary wounding, painful physical and emotional symptoms, or continued victimization when everything else they’ve tried doesn’t work.What did I do to deserve this? Why didn’t I do something to stop it? Self-blame is a significant aspect of being a survivor wrestling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Sometimes survivors see themselves as participants in the traumatic event rather than as victims. They feel that in some way they were “bad” or “not enough.” These feelings of guilt, self-blame and sadness are just the first stop on a long road toward the grieving process.

In the case of childhood sexual abuse, sometimes therapists can overlook the deep emotional loss suffered by a survivor when they were a child. With adult victims of trauma, the overwhelming grief process is more recognizable. Just as inevitable as emotional and behavioral struggles during the PTSD healing process, a torrent of grief eventually sweeps over a recovering adult—regardless of when their original trauma occurred.
 What did I do to deserve this? Why didn’t I do something to stop it? Self-blame is a significant aspect of being a survivor wrestling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Sometimes survivors see themselves as participants in the traumatic event rather than as victims. They feel that in some way they were “bad” or “not enough.” These feelings of guilt, self-blame and sadness are just the first stop on a long road toward the grieving process.

In the case of childhood sexual abuse, sometimes therapists can overlook the deep emotional loss suffered by a survivor when they were a child. With adult victims of trauma, the overwhelming grief process is more recognizable. Just as inevitable as emotional and behavioral struggles during the PTSD healing process, a torrent of grief eventually sweeps over a recovering adult—regardless of when their original trauma occurred.

“Isn’t it easier to feel angry than sad? When you are angry, you feel powerful and full of energy. When you are grieving, you feel weak and helpless,” remarks Aphrodite Matsakis, author of I Can’t Get Over It! For this reason, grief and anger are intertwined during the PTSD healing process.

Mataskis goes on to say, “Anger reflects grief for personal losses, as well as sorrow and disappointment over the failure of certain government, religious, or other institutions to live up to their stated purposes and standards.” Whether those other institutions flaring up your anger are the institutions of marriage, family or parenting, your anger could be a defense against entering into the grieving portion of the healing process.

“I think I first grieved over the fact that I was a little kid and couldn’t possibly have defended myself. Then, I grieved about the realization that no one protected me or did anything about it. But the worst part of all was when I got angry about all the time I had lost being a victim and that now, I was an adult still not doing anything about it,” comments Rebecca Cooper, Director of Communications and Networking at The Center for Hope & Renewal.

“Here at The Center for Hope & Renewal, we try to help people understand what to expect as they heal from PTSD. We also help their families, friends or co-workers understand as well,” Rebecca explains. As a result of her own healing journey, Rebecca became involved in helping others navigate those waters. She goes on to say, “We see the need out there for resources that benefit the survivors’ support people and are working toward special programs just for them.”

When you grieve, you acknowledge the devastating reality that in the traumatic moment, you were helpless. No matter how angry you get or how long you grieve over what was lost, you can never regain what was taken from you. What you may not realize now, is that although some of your losses are permanent, some are not.

What you can be sure of while engaging the PTSD healing process, is passing through each of these five phases of grief:
 1.Denial and isolation


 2.Anger


 3.Bargaining


 4.Depression


 5.Acceptance



One of the greatest fears carried by survivors is that the emotional pain will go on forever. Although grieving is not easy, it is not without end. The sadness that surrounds grief is a natural and permanent part of life that cannot be avoided. It is also a necessary part of healing from PTSD.

“Isn’t it easier to feel angry than sad? When you are angry, you feel powerful and full of energy. When you are grieving, you feel weak and helpless,” remarks Aphrodite Matsakis, author of I Can’t Get Over It! For this reason, grief and anger are intertwined during the PTSD healing process.

Mataskis goes on to say, “Anger reflects grief for personal losses, as well as sorrow and disappointment over the failure of certain government, religious, or other institutions to live up to their stated purposes and standards.” Whether those other institutions flaring up your anger are the institutions of marriage, family or parenting, your anger could be a defense against entering into the grieving portion of the healing process.

“I think I first grieved over the fact that I was a little kid and couldn’t possibly have defended myself. Then, I grieved about the realization that no one protected me or did anything about it. But the worst part of all was when I got angry about all the time I had lost being a victim and that now, I was an adult still not doing anything about it,” comments Rebecca Cooper, Director of Communications and Networking at The Center for Hope & Renewal.

“Here at The Center for Hope & Renewal, we try to help people understand what to expect as they heal from PTSD. We also help their families, friends or co-workers understand as well,” Rebecca explains. As a result of her own healing journey, Rebecca became involved in helping others navigate those waters. She goes on to say, “We see the need out there for resources that benefit the survivors’ support people and are working toward special programs just for them.”

When you grieve, you acknowledge the devastating reality that in the traumatic moment, you were helpless. No matter how angry you get or how long you grieve over what was lost, you can never regain what was taken from you. What you may not realize now, is that although some of your losses are permanent, some are not.

What you can be sure of while engaging the PTSD healing process, is passing through each of these five phases of grief:


 1.Denial and isolation


 2.Anger


 3.Bargaining


 4.Depression


 5.Acceptance



One of the greatest fears carried by survivors is that the emotional pain will go on forever. Although grieving is not easy, it is not without end. The sadness that surrounds grief is a natural and permanent part of life that cannot be avoided. It is also a necessary part of healing from PTSD.




 2.PTSD Symptoms: The Aftereffect of Triggers Flashback - The reliving of a traumatic experience, or an aspect of the trauma, as if it were happening NOW.

Flashbacks are one of the most well known Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms and debilitating aftereffects of trauma. As painful as they can be, flashbacks are also a necessary part of healing PTSD. The occurrence of flashbacks is a good sign - healing is well underway!

Flashbacks don’t usually begin to happen unless a survivor has a climate of safety in their life and is emotionally ready to heal. However, once flashbacks begin, they are not always restricted to a survivor’s safe place. For this reason, they can be very disruptive, extremely frightening and tremendously confusing, not only for the survivor but also for loved ones.

During the time of the trauma, it is as though the survivor’s mind captured every sensory aspect of the situation (emotions, sight, sound, taste, touch, smell, and sense of time) and crystallized it, temporarily isolating it in time, like a time capsule. Consequently, coming into contact with any sensory aspect of the encapsulated trauma in the here and now - called a trigger - could open the floodgates of a flashback.

Although, flashbacks can invade a person’s consciousness without warning, with proper education and practice, survivors can learn to sense when a flashback is about to occur. Only technically considered re-experiences of the trauma, flashbacks are more accurately described as flashes of a portion of the traumatic event and are a result of uncontrollable, biochemical responses in the brain.

Flashbacks can take the following forms:
 • Nightmares
 • Dreams
 • Sensory flashes (known as “the feeling”)
 •Images (colors, textures, specific images, or “smells”)
 •Unexplained strong emotions

In addition, making flashbacks even more disrupting, they are often accompanied by:
 • Nausea (sometimes, but rarely, vomiting)
 •Specific pain


 • Numbness (emotional & physical)
 •Muscle locking in specific parts of the body
 • Deep chills

In rare instances, flashbacks can cause a survivor to temporarily become unconscious; waking up after the flashback is safely completed, however, with neither any memory of the flashback or new memories of the original trauma. Because flashbacks begin to occur randomly once the healing process has begun, and they don’t always occur in a safe environment, the survivor must develop an emergency plan for these instances.

“Flashbacks do not represent mental illness; they are not psychotic,” remarks E. Sue Blume, author of Secret Survivors and creator of the Survivors’ Aftereffects Checklist. Like experiments in a laboratory they can be “controlled experiences-events relived to release, cleanse and heal,” according to Blume.

That they occur at all indicates that the survivor is strong enough to face his/her memories. That they occur in the presence of another person (therapist, spouse, or healing partner) shows the level of trust the survivor feels in that relationship.

Blume captures the essence of this phenomenon well. She says, “Flashbacks are an opportunity to learn, and to be free. They are not something to be fought or medicated; they are a painful, necessary, hopeful part of recovery.”

If you’re interested in learning more about PTSD, developing a healing strategy that includes an emergency plan, contact The Center for Hope & Renewal in Gig Harbor at 1-888-688-4370. They specialize in helping survivors and their loved ones understand PTSD and connect with local professionals by providing workshops, support groups and healing intensives.

Want to know what a flashback is like? Watch the remarkable video below of a woman struggling to remain in the present moment while flashbacks keep pulling her into the past.

Caution! Survivors may be triggered by watching this video. Please use discretion in viewing!

 3.PTSD Symptoms: The Aftereffect of “Splitting”
 4.PTSD Symptoms: The Aftereffect of Flashbacks
 5.Body Armor: Puget Sound Residents Use it to Cope with PTSD
 6.Healing PTSD: Remembering Trauma - One man in Tacoma asks, Why did it take 20 years for my wife’s memories to surface? A woman in Gig Harbor comments, My sister remembers everything about her wedding 15 years ago, but she can’t remember the hell we grew up in! Have you ever had a memory from childhood suddenly pop into your mind? Chances are that something about your environment brought that memory back from the storehouse of your mind.

It’s a mystery as to why one person can never forget a traumatic event, yet another waits years to recall just a small portion of it. What we do know about how the brain works tells us that memory is fragile. Instead of being stored like a movie in your head, memories are stored as bits and pieces that your brain thinks are important, with uninteresting information discarded. Those bits and pieces are delivered to the brain by sensory input from your eyes, nose, ears, mouth, and/or skin. Consequently, when sensory inputs are stimulated in just the right combination, recall of a fragmented memory associated with that combination will arise, especially if the brain considers the recall to be important to your survival.

The book Allies in Healing suggests some triggers that can cause bits and pieces of memory to rise to the surface such as the following:

Distance: Length of time or the number of miles between the trauma or an abuser when combined with a feeling of safety

Crisis: A life crisis where things seem out of control like a poor health diagnosis, divorce, wedding planning, or financial difficulties; having your body compromised, in pain or out of control such as when giving birth; breaking an addiction to alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, sex or eating

Media: A TV show, an article in the newspaper, a movie (The Color Purple, Monster, Prince of Tides), even a friend’s story or hearing about a child abused in the neighborhood

Sensory: Input like the sound of a dog barking (if a dog was barking at the time of the trauma), smelling alcohol on someone’s breath, or being awakened in the middle of the night

Death or Loss: The death of the abuser or a significant family member the survivor may have been protecting by keeping abuse secret, any major loss such as loss of a job, spouse, home, beloved pet or a major transition like moving, going back to school, starting a new career, or aging

Physical: Touch that integrates movement such as someone caressing you in a certain way, receiving a massage or other therapy treatment; physical exercise that includes familiar positions, muscle strain or contractions that are similar to ones that occurred during the trauma, or increased heart rate can mimic an anxiety response; gaining or losing a lot of weight can cause sensations of vulnerability

Medical procedures: Visits to the dentist (especially for victims who were orally raped), gynecologist or proctologist; experiencing anesthesia or localized numbing for procedures

Parenting: Being pregnant, encountering your child's physical development, or your child reaching the same age in which you experienced the trauma

If someone you love is struggling with PTSD and counting on you for support, you’ll probably experience times of frustration where you’ll struggle to accept and believe the survivor’s memories. Attending a support group like Al Anon can help you maintain a healthy level of detachment. Also, understanding how the brain stores memories will help you to keep a supportive perspective on this difficult part of your loved one's healing process. To start down your own path of PTSD education, read my article PTSD: The brain's response to a traumatic event, or check out the video below about how the brain processes emotions and memories.

 7.Seattle’s PTSD Question of the Week: Missing Memories
 8.5 Ways to Beat PTSD Induced Memory Loss
 9.Puget Sound Chiropractors Fight PTSD
 10.PTSD and the Grieving Process - What did I do to deserve this? Why didn’t I do something to stop it? Self-blame is a significant aspect of being a survivor wrestling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Sometimes survivors see themselves as participants in the traumatic event rather than as victims. They feel that in some way they were “bad” or “not enough.” These feelings of guilt, self-blame and sadness are just the first stop on a long road toward the grieving process.

In the case of childhood sexual abuse, sometimes therapists can overlook the deep emotional loss suffered by a survivor when they were a child. With adult victims of trauma, the overwhelming grief process is more recognizable. Just as inevitable as emotional and behavioral struggles during the PTSD healing process, a torrent of grief eventually sweeps over a recovering adult—regardless of when their original trauma occurred.

“Isn’t it easier to feel angry than sad? When you are angry, you feel powerful and full of energy. When you are grieving, you feel weak and helpless,” remarks Aphrodite Matsakis, author of I Can’t Get Over It! For this reason, grief and anger are intertwined during the PTSD healing process.

Mataskis goes on to say, “Anger reflects grief for personal losses, as well as sorrow and disappointment over the failure of certain government, religious, or other institutions to live up to their stated purposes and standards.” Whether those other institutions flaring up your anger are the institutions of marriage, family or parenting, your anger could be a defense against entering into the grieving portion of the healing process.

“I think I first grieved over the fact that I was a little kid and couldn’t possibly have defended myself. Then, I grieved about the realization that no one protected me or did anything about it. But the worst part of all was when I got angry about all the time I had lost being a victim and that now, I was an adult still not doing anything about it,” comments Rebecca Cooper, Director of Communications and Networking at The Center for Hope & Renewal.

“Here at The Center for Hope & Renewal, we try to help people understand what to expect as they heal from PTSD. We also help their families, friends or co-workers understand as well,” Rebecca explains. As a result of her own healing journey, Rebecca became involved in helping others navigate those waters. She goes on to say, “We see the need out there for resources that benefit the survivors’ support people and are working toward special programs just for them.”

When you grieve, you acknowledge the devastating reality that in the traumatic moment, you were helpless. No matter how angry you get or how long you grieve over what was lost, you can never regain what was taken from you. What you may not realize now, is that although some of your losses are permanent, some are not.

What you can be sure of while engaging the PTSD healing process, is passing through each of these five phases of grief:
 1.Denial and isolation


 2.Anger


 3.Bargaining


 4.Depression


 5.Acceptance



One of the greatest fears carried by survivors is that the emotional pain will go on forever. Although grieving is not easy, it is not without end. The sadness that surrounds grief is a natural and permanent part of life that cannot be avoided. It is also a necessary part of healing from PTSD.




Chocolate Cherry Trifle Recipe



A beautiful layered dessert from Food Network chef Nigella Lawson.
 

Ingredients: 

2 chocolate loaf cakes (each approx. 350 g)
7 oz. black cherry jam
1/2 cup cherry brandy
10-12 oz. bottled Morello cherries, drained
 
Custard
100 g dark chocolate, minimum 70% cocoa solids
1-1/2 cups milk
1-1/2 cups double cream
 8 eggs yolks
1/2 cup caster sugar
1-1/3 oz. cocoa
 
Topping
3 cups double cream
30 g dark chocolate, as before
Instructions: 

Step 1: Slice the chocolate loaves or cake and make jam sandwiches with the cherry jam. Layer into the bottom of a large trifle bowl. Pour over the cherry brandy so that the cake soaks it up, and then tip in the drained cherries. Cover with plastic wrap and leave to macerate while you make the custard.
 
Step 2: Chop up the chocolate and melt on low to medium heat in the microwave, checking after 2 minutes, though it will probably need 4. Or you can stick the bowl over a pan of gently simmering water. Once the chocolate's melted, leave to one side while you get on with the custard.
 
Step 3: Warm the milk and cream in a saucepan, and whisk the yolks, sugar and cocoa in a large bowl. Pour the warm milk and cream into the bowl, whisking it into the yolks and sugar mixture. Stir in the melted chocolate, scraping the sides well with a rubber spatula to get all of it in, and pour the custard back into the rinsed saucepan. 
 
Step 4: Cook over a medium heat until the custard thickens, stirring all the time. Make sure it doesn't boil, as it will split and curdle. Keep a sink full of cold water so that if you get scared you can plunge the custard pan into the cold water and whisk like mad, which will avert possible crisis. 
 
Step 5: The custard will get darker as it cooks and the flecks of chocolate will melt once the custard has thickened. And you do need this thick, so don't panic so much that you stop cooking while it's still runny. Admittedly, it carries on thickening as it cools and then when it's chilling in the fridge. Once it's ready, pour into a bowl to cool and cover the top of the custard with plastic wrap to stop it forming a skin.
 
Step 6: When the custard is cold, pour and scrape it over the chocolate cake layer in the trifle bowl, and leave in the fridge to set, covered in plastic wrap, overnight. 
 
Step 7: When you are ready to decorate, whip the cream for the topping softly and spread it gently over the layer of custard. Grate the chocolate over the top. Let people fall upon it with greed and gratitude. They will go home happy.


She is one of my favourite Chefs!

I may not let go


I want to walk beside you

 But the wind's too heavy
 Now I'm trying to find you
 And the road is long

I'm on a dried up river
 Beside a broke down levee
 I've got nothing to give you
 But a lonesome song

Just a little bit worn out
 Just a little bit bitter
 I gotta let my guard down
 I gotta loosen my grip

I hear these voices
 They don't sound familiar
 Making all of these choices
 Taking all these trips

If I hold you tonight
 I may not let go

Now it's come a long way
 And my heart feels older
 And I feel that shiver
 Running down my spine

And the ground is frozen
 And the air is colder
 But my heart is open
 Beating out of time

And if I hold you tonight
 I may not let go
 And if I hold you tonight
 I may not let go

Show me the place I can hide
 Tell me you'll see me tonight

Old train keeps rolling
 Nowhere bound
 I hear the whistle blowing
 Such a lonely sound

And if I hold you tonight
 I may not let go
 And if I hold you tonight
 I may not let go
 Oh and if I hold you tonight
 I may not let go 



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6H288Dhv8GY&feature=related

Can't...


... Did you knows


Did you know unless food is mixed with saliva you can't taste it
Did you know frogs can't swallow with their eyes open
Did you know a duck can't walk without bobbing its head
Did you know a crocodile can't move its tongue
Did you know cats can't move their jaw sideways
Did you know a crocodile can't stick out its tongue
Did you know hummingbirds can't walk
Did you know owls can't move their eyes from side to side
Did you know emus can't walk backwards
Did you know whales can't swim backwards
Did you know giraffes can't swim
Did you know the cheetah is the only cat that can't retract it's claws
Did you know roosters can't crow if they can't fully extend their necks
Did you know emus can't walk backwards
Did you know snakes can't blink
Did you know snakes can't bite in rivers or swamps (they would drown otherwise)
Did you know gorillas can't swim
Did you know giraffes can't cough
Did you know you can't tickle yourself
Did you know you can't trademark surnames
Did you know lion's can't roar until the age of 

Oshawa House

Img_0098 Img_0048 Img_0064
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Img_0082 I love this house!

Female Cats - Have a Home!

After a long search I have finally found a home for all three girls. They will stay together which is what I was hoping for. The lady who is taking them is a cat lover and work for a vet hospital. So, I know it is the right fit. I am sad that they are going but I know it is for the best.


Russia, Paris and Beautiful will have a great new life. I am sorry that they were making me more ill and if that was not the case I would have never been able to let them go. They go to their new home this Friday.


Russia is always walking around meowing hello. Beautiful is the mama cat of all the girls and she is so loving. Paris is a silly and trouble maker, she leap high up onto high shelves and window sills.


 Russia (HELLLO)

Mama Beautiful

 Silly Paris


Milky

Monday, 25 June 2012

Pecan Pie



Ingredients
 1 cup light brown sugar
 1/4 cup white sugar
 1/2 cup butter
 2 eggs
 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
 1 tablespoon milk
 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
 1 cup chopped pecans

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. In a large bowl, beat eggs until foamy, and stir in melted butter. Stir in the brown sugar, white sugar and the flour; mix well. Last add the milk, vanilla and nuts.
3. Pour into an unbaked 9-in pie shell. Bake in preheated oven for 10 minutes at 400 degrees, then reduce temperature to 350 degrees and bake for 30 to 40 minutes, or until done.



Butterscotch Pecan Perfection Pie
Preparation Time: 15 mins
Cooking Time: 40 mins
Cooling Time: 3 hrs refrigerating

10 servings

1 unbaked 9-inch (4-cup volume) deep-dish pie shell*
1 2/3 cups (11-ounce package) NESTLÉ® TOLL HOUSE®
    Butterscotch Flavored Morsels, divided
3/4 cup light corn syrup
3 large eggs, at room temperature
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups pecan halves, coarsely chopped
1 1/2 cups whipped cream (optional)

PREHEAT oven to 350 degrees F.

MELT 1 1/3 cups morsels in medium, uncovered microwave-safe bowl on MEDIUM-HIGH (70%) power for 1 minute; STIR. Morsels may retain some of their shape. If necessary, microwave at additional 10- to 15-second intervals, stirring just until morsels are melted.

ADD corn syrup, eggs, flour and salt to melted morsels. Beat on medium until smooth. Stir in pecans. Pour pecan mixture into pie shell.

BAKE for 40 to 45 minutes or until knife inserted into center comes out with little bits of filling attached. If browning too quickly, cover with foil. Cool on wire rack for 2 hours. Refrigerate 1 hour or until serving time.

TO GARNISH AND SERVE:
LINE baking sheet with wax paper.

PLACE remaining morsels in heavy-duty plastic bag. Microwave on MEDIUM-HIGH (70%) power for 30 to 45 seconds; knead. Microwave at 10- to 15-second intervals, kneading until smooth. Cut tiny corner from bag. Drizzle 10 circular designs about 2 inches high and wide onto prepared baking sheet. Refrigerate for 5 to 10 minutes or until firm.

PLACE 10 dollops of whipped cream around edge of pie. Remove drizzle designs from refrigerator. With tip of knife, gently remove designs from wax paper and insert, standing up, into dollops. Serve immediately.

NOTES
*If using frozen pie shell, use deep-dish style. Do not thaw. Bake on baking sheet.

TIPS:
• 1/3 cup NESTLÉ® TOLL HOUSE® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels can also be melted and made into drizzle designs instead of the Butterscotch Flavored Morsels.

•Two shallow (2-cup volume) pie shells can be substituted for the one deep-dish pie shell. Follow directions above and bake for 30 to 35 minutes.