Another Month Gone

It is so hard to believe that another year has gone by but this time it went by faster and for me I hated being alone. I miss you.

Milky

Breakfast this morning....

....was funny because my sister made breakfast and wanted to cook it her way. She needed a glass of water?? Not sure why. Eggs and Bacon with toast. It was good but I still do not know what the water was for.

Thanks miss molly,

Milky

Christmas Tree

 The tree is up and my sister did a great job! She is moving on to the rest of the house. She really loves this stuff. I do like Christmas but when you have family and friends around you. For the most part I am alone and I have missed the last few Christmas's. I was fully alone, other then a voice to help me through off and on that day last year. 

Milky

Why????

Another long day of not feeling well. I have a huge cut on my foot and cannot walk on it. I am feeling very ill and so weak. I cannot believe that this is happening now. Why?
\
Milky

Kate Earl - Someone To Love

You're a porcelain doll that sits in a window
You hold your breath when people walk by
Safely kept behind rose-colored glass
Neatly tucked beneath the spotlight
Waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love
You're a Cheshire cat, you think a smile hides the rest
Ambiguity will always cover the facts
Where do you come from, where do you go
Must be lonely to be all alone
Waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love
And when they come, they'll accept you just the way you are
You'll swear under a moonlit sky
About rocks in the sky, trees backed up by the sea
Thin wild mercury, thin wild mercury
Until then you're waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love
Waiting for someone to love


Read more: KATE EARL - SOMEONE TO LOVE LYRICS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzonGyfl3-s

Water Well

So, this guy installed the water filter and now everything smells like beach instead of metal so I guess that is better. Of course I have to run the water a few more times before using it. It is suppose to be safe. Lets hope so.

Oh, the repair guy a no show but of course! 

My sister, her boyfriend and I managed to get a lot done in the basement which is great news. However, we went to get a few boxes from the garage and that is a nightmare! I need to find the box that has his birth certificate! Oh, joy!

In the middle of looking in the garage I notice that he throw heavy boxes on light ones and ones marked glasses. I have about 6 boxes of non replaceable glasses all broken!  Thank you so much.

He only cares about himself and his things. He ensures that all of his crap is a okay! I am so bloody mad at him for this and I will not be allow to voice my thoughts, so that is why I am venting here.

Milky

Spinach Salad

Spinach
Purple onion
Mushrooms
Bacon
Eggs
Salt
Pepper
Garlic
Honey Mustard
Hot Mustard
Balsamic Vinegar

Milky

Another sleepless night

My mind is racing over all of the things that need to get done around the house, from the business and basic daily life stuff. I am so tire and just want to sleep well and for more then three hours.  I have tons of people coming tomorrow, luck for me my sister is here to help out. I hope everything runs smooth. But with my luck - you know things will be bad! Grrrrrrr!

Milky

Stuffed Peppers

Red Peppers
Yellow Peppers
Orange Peppers
Yellow Onions
Garlic
Green Onions
Parsley
Rice of Choice
Pepper
Sea Salt
Ground Pork
Soy Sauce
Worcestershire Sauce
Paprika 
Parmigiana Cheese

Add Hot chili flakes and hot sauce if you like spicy.


Sweat the onions, garlic, sea salt and pepper. Add the pork, worcestershire sauce, and soy sauce brown pork. Add paprika, parsley and cooked rice. Add green onions. 

Stuff the peppers and add the parmigiana on top and bake until peppers are tender.

Milky

Moving in?

My sister is thinking about living with me. She asked me what the "rules" are? She asked because that woman sets a lot rules.

My thing or 'rules' is basic. Keep your own bedroom and bathroom clean. Clean up after yourself in other rooms of the house. Put your dishes in the dish washer, your laundry in the hamper, perhaps do your own laundry from time to time. Let me know if you are staying out late or all night. Your boyfriend is welcomed over and may sleep over from time to time but not every night as I cannot afford to feed him too. Try to get a job and pay your outstanding bills. We would cook together and clean up after together. 

To me that is common stuff, not rules.

That woman does not like her boyfriend so he is not allowed to her house. My sister has to clean up them, clean all the bathrooms, bedrooms, and the rest of the house. Cook dinners, do laundry and the list goes on. My sister cannot use the computer or the house telephone. She has to be home by midnight but that woman does not want her going out at all. It is a joke. Why does she have to clean their rooms? Why is it not equal?

It does not surprise me because she did that to me as well. I was expected to do all the cleaning, child caring and cooking. That was on top of school and three jobs. She would say that she quit cooking so she just stopped cooking one day. She would cook once in a blue moon.

I would take the children to school and rush to get to my school and then rush to leave school go pick up the children, go home feed them and get to work. She would bring my sister to me in the early morning when she would wake up so that she did not have to deal with her.

This woman should have never been allowed to have any children. I love my siblings so much and what she has done to each of us is insane. 

Milky 

Killing the Basement

This weekend I am going to kill the basement and get it done, done and done once and for all. I cannot wait to have of this unpacking done and have all the repairs done so that I can just focus on the business and have some people over. I am so tire of being alone. It is hurting so much to be here alone. It helps when my sister comes up because I do not have time to think about the bad things that are happening.

Bad days of being sick have worsen and I am more tired reach day. My strength is getting worse, too. I do not know what to do.

Milky

let go - of her!

My sister wants a Christmas here, just a "normal" one as she says. With no fighting or mean people. She just wants to enjoy a fun and happy day. As it should be. As it is with most families. 

My sister needs to except that that woman only thinks about herself and she is very selfish, cold and cruel. There is no changing her after all this time. 

I know that it is hard on my sister and I wish I could make things 100% better but the only way things will be better for her is when she cuts that woman out of her life. But like me she fears that she will be hated for it. I used to fear that and now that I have her out of my life I no longer do.

It may be bad to say but to me my mother is dead. After everything she has done to me that is what has come out of the relationship between her and I. It is a sad thing to have to say this but it is also healthier for me to have her completely out of my life. No one deserves to be treated the way she treats people, let alone her own children.

Milky

Pork Roast

Will the repairs get done????

To my surprise the handyman showed up this morning. I guess threatening to get a lawyer involved does light a fire under him. It is crazy to me that this is so damn hard? I mean it is after all his JOB!!!!! I cannot image working like that. Telling someone that you will be there in an hour and not showing up at all? Better yet not to even call? And to top that off, he did it 6 times. How do you even face the person the next time you see them?

Let us see just how much this guy does, today. I can say that the list will not even be close to done but I could be wrong? Stay tuned! LOL.

Milky

Soup - Homemade

8 Chicken thighs (put in whole, it will fall apart as it cooks)
6 Onions (rough chop)
1 Whole Celery Stalk (rough chop)
1 Bag Of Carrots (baby carrots, leave some whole and rough chop half)
1/2 Head of Garlic (chop)
4 Red and 4 White Potatoes (rough chop, have different bite sizes)
Sea Salt (as needed)
Black Pepper (as needed)
Parsley (handful)

1 Box of Vegetables Stock
2 Cubes of Chicken Stock

3 Pitchers of Water
Canola oil a few drops to sweat the onions

Sweat the onions, garlic, oil and add the chicken thighs. Add the celery, carrots, water and stock. Add seasoning. Cook on medium low heat for 3 hours, add potatoes and let cook for another 2 hours or more.

Note: if you add more water, repeat your seasoning.

Milky

Christmas

My sister was very upset with me when I told her that I am not having Christmas here. The last three years I have been alone for Christmas Day. I thought she would not come up. I know my brother will not.

I told her that we will have Christmas here that made her happy and seem to lift her spirits. This week she is coming so we will deck the house up with bells and hollies! I will make a nice dinner and a better breakfast.

I hope she does not run into issues with the witch from hell.

Milky

Once again....

...no show for the repair guy and a no show for the water well install. Now, I am starting to get really mad! I freaked out on this guy and I am going to start playing hard ball. Funny when I threaten to call my lawyer he dropped of water and will come tomorrow. The water well guy is now coming Thursday. This whole thing is ridiculous and I have had enough!

Milky

Evil mother

When you think about your mother you are suppose to have warm loving thoughts, no? Well, not when it comes to mine. She is the biggest liar I have ever known and an abusive bitch, through words and physical.

She will never admit what she has done to me and now she is doing the same thing to my sister. Many times my sister took her side but now she sees the truth and is dumb founded over the results of her actions towards her. Finally someone sees the truth.

She will have people believe awful things about her daughters. The truth is my mother hates her daughters and never wanted girls. She loved my brothers with everything she had in her but know this her love comes with a HUGE FUCKEN PRICE! If you cross this bitch she will make your life a living hell!

She will destroy everything good in your life. You will destroy anyone that comes into your life! She will use you and lie about you with every breath she takes. She does not have any good in her at all.

I feel awful for my sister. I have told her that she will always have a home with me. But I am ready to kick that bitches ass from here to hell! This shit better stop or I will have her lock up in a jacket in the FUCKEN cold storage to ROT in hell!

This is no mother! Nor a human, she is pure evil!

Milky

Holy mother fcuker!

I cannot believe the crap she is doing, again! This woman is insane and truly needs to be locked up. she thinks that she is going to go to heaven after the way she has treated her children? Omg! God is going to tell her, "FUCK YOU, BITCH! YOU can go to HELL and BURN! What a joke.

She wants respect and people to about her after the damage she caused everyone around her. She is sick in the head!

I know I have made huge mistakes and there is no room for forgiveness but if I am going to he'll, she is sure the fuck not going to heaven. She is unbelievably the worse thing ever to be allow any forgiveness.

I hate her!

Milky

Changing...

...personal information sucks for on line! That or I am really dumb. I called in and it took 30 seconds? And I went in to change my health card and seriously, another 30 second? What the hell is with the Internet set up to change your address?

Milky

I am HOOKED...

...mystery manor! I can play for hours it is crazy. It is 4:30 in the morning and aim stressed out! So I play this game in hopes that it will tire me out but I end up playing for a few hours. So bad.

Milky

Do you...

...read me? What I am writing? I mean is this how you check on me? I hope you are well and safe.

Milky

Unpacking Basement

I had not planned of doing the basement until the first week in December but since I want the broken down fridge to be gone so that I may get a new fridge in I have to get the work done down there so "handyman" can remove the fridge.

Milky

I was right...

...he is not coming back today! He needs supplies to get the rest of the work done. The funny things is I gave  him a detailed list of everything that was needed alone with measurements!!!! He had the list with him! This guy is a knob and then same.

I have repaired half of the things on the list myself. It is so damn crazy to me that this is what he does for a living and I am doing most of the work. OMG!

We will see if he will come on Tuesday!

Milky

WOW Repairs....

...are getting done today! To say that I cannot believe it is playing it down. I mean these things were suppose to be done before we moved in. This guy kept saying he was going to come but would never show up. He is finally here and I am going to work his a** so bloody hard, until everything is finally done.

I have my new dish washer. I new door handle for the laundry room, so I will not be lock in there for hours every again. That was hell for me! The back door will finally have a non - broken door and I will have peace of mind that no one will just walk into the house. Yeah me.

The water softener and filter are coming on Tuesday. What a relief that will be. The water is a basic need in a household and I just cannot believe that I had to wait a month for it be done.

Just as I am writing this he comes to me to tell he has to get supplies so that means he is not coming back???? OMG!!! Just when I thought thing were going to come together - what a damn fool I am.

Milky

All I've Ever Needed - Nikki Reed & Paul McDonald

I hope you eyes just smile forever
Only once I told a lie
I hope these days go on forever,
And I'm always right by your side.You're all I want to know
For the rest of my life!
I can't help what time is done,
And how long I've had to wait
Now I found your hand in mine
I hope I didn't come too late
There's no beauty like your face in the morning light!


Chorus:
And all my life I have been so scared
And I never knew I never wanted you there
I've been broke, been bust, been snared
So love lost and under-prepared, baby
But now that I found you, now that I've got you
I've got everything, my dear!

Cause you mean everything to me, my dear,You mean everything to me my dear!
I see you in my thoughts, and I hear you in my sleep
And now that I've found you,
Now that I've got you
I've got everything!
And the feeling that you give me is like a runaway train
If I hold you like I wanna, You would never go away
My dear, hear me when I say!

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/now-that-i-found-you-lyrics-nikki-reed-paul-mcdonald.html ]
Chorus:
And whole my life I have been so scared
And I never knew I never wanted you there
I've been broke, been bust, been snared
So love lost and under prepared, baby
But now that I found you, now that I've got you
I've got everything, my dear!
I love you sleeping with your socks on
And I love your laughter in our house
I love your smile in the morning
And I love your head upon my chest
I miss your kisses in the evening
(Baby when you're away)
And I miss my hands on your hips
(baby when you're away)
And I miss the smell of your perfume
And the lipstick on your lips!


Chorus:
And whole my life I have been so scared
And I never knew I never wanted you there
I've been broke, been bust, been snared
So love lost and under-prepared, baby
But now that I found you, now that I've got you
I've got everything, my dear!
Now that I found you
Now that I've got you
Now that I found you
Now that I've got you
I've got everything my dear!

• Send "Now That I Found You

Read more: NIKKI REED & PAUL MCDONALD - NOW THAT I FOUND YOU LYRICS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdCDSzOIYKM&feature=related

Feist - Fire in the water

Telegraph cables hum
And few can decipher who the message is from
And deliver it quietly
'Cause some don't get much company
The harbor becomes the sea
And lighting the house keeps it collision free
Understand the lay of the land
And don't let it hurt you or it will be the first to
The water, the water
Didn't realize
It's dangerous size
The mountain, the mountain
Came to recognize
It's steep and rocky sides
More than realized
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Pale as a pile of bones
You hope for your babies
And this is how they grow
Wind-battered, knocked over
The teeth by the shoulder
Watching the gray sky
That's acting like a good guy
The water, the water
Came to realize
It's a dangerous size
The mountain, the mountain
Came to recognize
It's steep and rocky sides
Came to recognize
It's steep and rocky sides
More than realized

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcUvMgFnNOM&feature=related

Read more: FEIST - THE WATER LYRICS

IKO - Heart Of Stone

Can you keep a secret
Will you hold your hand
Among the flames

Honey you're a shipwreck
With your heart of stone

Can I get a witness
To the processes
The wasted tears
If it dried a river
With your heart of stone

I can't breath
I can't breath, water, water
I can't breath
I can't breath, water, water
When you're here with me
You're not here with me

Can you pry a finger
From every single way
The same due
And I just can't forget you
With your heart of stone

I can't breath
I can't breath, water, water
I can't breath
I can't breath, water, water
I can't breath
I can't breath, water, water
I can't breath
I can't breath, water, water

When you're here with me
You're not here with me

Movies to see

Red Dawn was great that is the older one, was. I want to see what they did with the new one. Looking forward to it. Looper looks good too.

Milky

Time is cold

Time does not stand still and it really does not wait for anyone. Time keeps going no matter how much I wish for it to stop. To stop until I find you, again to find her, again and to find us, again. I know that it is crazy that I still hold onto all of the memories wrong or right much of it was real and now it is lost but in my heart I hold on to them because I have nothing else to hold onto.

Time is slow and it is cold and cruel. I hate saying this but you are cold and cruel as well. After all this time you haunt me and I still cry at night and at times in the daylight. The pain in my heart grows bigger and the hole that consumes me is unbearable. Even though the pain is bad it truly does tell me that what I felt was true. 

I miss everything about you. I miss the way you would make me laugh and how you would listen to every word as I would speak. It was nice to be heard. It was nice to be cared for. Now, there is nothing and I am fading fast over time.

Yes, time is cold and cruel and I did not have enough time with you, my love.

Milky

anna blue so alone

My face against the window pane
A tear for every drop of rain

I am so lonely and so sad
You're the reason that I'm feeling bad
I am so lonely and so sad
Living in a dream I've never had

My face against the window pane
A tear for every drop of rain
I'm living like already I have died
Have died

Emptiness a present past
A silent scream to shatter glass
I have to go; it's time for me to fly

I am so lonely and so sad
You're the reason that I'm feeling bad
I am so lonely and so sad
Living in a dream I've never had

(Wake me with your kiss)
Who will care if I'm not here?
If suddenly I disappeared?
No one's gonna notice it at all

Dying flowers in my hand
I'm vanishing from where I stand
It isn't yet too late to get the truth

I am so lonely and so sad
You're the reason that I'm feeling bad
I am so lonely and so sad
Living in a dream I've never had

So lonely and so sad
You're the reason that I'm feeling bad
I am so lonely and so sad
Living in a dream I've never had

I am so lonely and so sad
You're the reason that I'm feeling bad
I am so lonely and so sad
Living in a dream I've never had

So lonely and so sad
You're the reason that I'm feeling bad
I am so lonely and so sad
Living in a dream I've never had

(Wake me with your kiss)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR5wAmkgWWo

The "Family Room" (my parlour)

The Kitchen

My Funny BOYS

Hot & Cold

There have been many nights in this new house that I have not slept well at all because it has been way to hot. It is funny how my bedroom, the family room and the main bathroom and basement bedroom are so damn HOT but the rest of the house is warm to cool.

Last night I had both windows opened and my fan on. It was perfect for once. He came in and said it was freezing in my bedroom but I was toasty! I told him to get out!!! I slept comfortable last night and it was great!

Hugo was comfortable as well, even the cats. Whatever, it is my bedroom and I do not share it with him so what I think about it is all that matters.

Milky

Hot apple cider

On a cold day how can you really say no to this treat. From the Food Network.

Ingredients

• 1 apple
• 2 teaspoons whole cloves
• 1 orange, thinly sliced
• 2 quarts apple cider
• 1/2 cup light brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon allspice
• Pinch grated nutmeg
• 1 cup dark rum
• Cinnamon sticks, garnish

Directions

Stud the apple with the cloves. In a medium pot, combine the studded apple and remaining ingredients except the rum. Slowly bring to a simmer over low heat. Simmer for 10 minutes. Remove from the heat and add the rum. Discard the apple. Ladle into mugs and garnish each with a cinnamon stick. Serve immediately.

So quite

It is Saturday night and I am so bloody bored. I waited all day for the repair guy but of course he said he will come tomorrow! I am so sure! I unpacked bins of clothing. It is slowly coming around to the end. I have no finished the basement at all, hope to start next week. The main floor and upstairs is starting to look more and more like a home. The only issue is it is to quite and I am so alone. No one to talk to. I miss having someone to talk to.

Milky

Phoenix ='s trouble

OMG! This dog is the biggest brat ever! He keeps going into the trash to shed paper. I do not get him at all. And Hugo is no better. They both love to eat PAPER!!!!!

Milky

Food & Wine

I get the magazine every month and it has some really good recipes inside. Many great ideas, in fact but the only problem is I have no one to cook for any more. I use to have many people to cook for but now there is no one. Cooking for myself is pointless. Being alone everyday is for the birds. 

I went out yesterday with friends for dinner and a movie but for some reason I still felt very alone. There is so much silence and aloneness. It hurts so much.

Milky

Sick sucks

The past few days have been really bad for me. I have not been feeling very well. My headaches are really bad and I have been so sick. I wish it would ease up even a little bit. I just do not understand why it has to be thing way all the time.??

Milky

Length did you knows

• 
  Did you know stewardesses is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand
• Did you know the longest street in the world is Yonge street in Toronto Canada measuring 1,896 km (1,178 miles)
• Did you know a giraffe can clean its ears with its 21 inch tongue
• Did you know the word 'Strengths' is the longest word in the English language with just one vowel
• Did you know cats can jump up to 7 times their tail length
• Did you know The Great Wall of China is approximately 6,430 Km long (3,995 miles)
• Did you know every single possible 3 character .com domain has been registered
• Did you know the word typewriter is the longest word that can be typed using only the top row of a keyboard
• Did you know your foot and your forearm are the same length
• Did you know the word 'almost' is the longest word spelt alphabetically
• Did you know the word 'rhythm' is the longest word without a vowel
• Did you know a flea can jump 350 times its body length
• Did you know a chameleons tongue is twice the length of its body
• Did you know the longest word that can be typed using only our right hand is 'lollipop'
• Did you know ostriches have a 14 meter (46 foot) long small intestine
• Did you know the longest time a person has been in a coma is 37 years
• Did you know the longest one syllable word in the English language is 'screeched'
• Did you know a woodpeckers tongue can wrap around its head twice
• Did you know the statue of Liberty's mouth is 3 feet wide
• Did you know a King Cobra is the biggest of all poisonous snakes and can grow to over 4 metres (13 feet) long

Not a good day

Today, has not been very good. I have a huge headache and body pain. Hope tomorrow is better.

Milky

Bell

I find it really funny when a company adds you to something you never agree to and charges you for the services. Bell is no better then Rogers. The whole thing is nothing but a scam!!! What a joke.

For those who may not know, if you are moving you MUST give Rogers 30 notice or you will be charged another month of service that you will not be using at the old house!!!??? It is in section 8 of terms and conditions.

Milky

Still No Business

We gave out over a thousand business coupon books and business cards and still no bites? What am I doing wrong with this stupid business. I need to get some business in or I am going to be in so much trouble.

Milky

Feels So Real by Edens Edge

It was two years ago and it was yesterday
It might not make sense
But that's just the way it feels to me

I'm as bad as an old washing machine
Spinning 'round but I never get clean
Don't you see

'Cause baby, you're gone but you're like the wind
Out of the calm you come back again
Rattling the windows of my painted shut heart
Feels so real

Inside I still got this breaking in my chest
Don't feel like flesh, it feels like glass
And glass shatters

Oh, outside I'm not leather yet
But these days I'm tougher than I ever thought I'd get
Or ever wanna be and the heart of the matter

Is baby, you're gone but you're like the wind
Out of the calm you come back again
Rattling the windows of my painted shut heart, oh
Feels so real, feels so real

Pulling down, Jupiter, would be much easier
Swimming in the sky that would be a breeze
Than finding a magic cure, help me remember
You're nothing but a memory, yeah

Baby, you're gone but you're like the wind
Out of the calm you come back again
Rattling the windows of my painted shut heart
Feels so real, feels so real

It was two years ago and it was yesterday
(Oh, it feels so real, oh)
Might not make sense
But that's just the way it feels to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a4R2CqMXF0&feature=fvwrel

I wish...

...I knew who was reading me right, now.

Milky

chicken nachos Recipe by dp

Amazing fully loaded chicken nachos real authentic goodness great for parties.

Who doesn't love real great nacho goodness ???

This is a chicken recipe but you can substitute for Steak, Ground Beef, Barbacoa , shrimp or shredded pork as well as


vegetarians can use grilled Portabella Mushrooms and grilled Peppers

http://cookeatshare.com/recipes/chicken-nachos-259222

• 3 boneless skinless chicken breasts
• 1 lb shredded cheese
• 1 can black beans
• 1 bag of tortilla chips or follow my chip recipe
• 1 10 oz sour cream
• 2 cups guacamole (see my recipe for organic guacamole )
• 2 fresh diced jalapenos
• 2 cups shredded lettuce
• 1 diced tomato
• 1/4 diced onion
• 2 cups salsa or (see recipe in my recipes )
• 1 large cookie sheet

Directions

1. preheat oven to 350
2. grill chicken with cumin onions and peppers and garlic
3. place chips on cookie sheet 1 layer cover with cheese and add second layer of chips
4. place more cheese
5. spread even layer of black beans onto ships add more cheese
6. place sliced chicken breasts spread evenly over pan of nachos
7. place in oven until melted about 5- 10 minutes
8. dice onions, peppers, and shred lettuce
9. remove from oven
10. garnish with lettuce, peppers, onions , jalapenos ,salsa sour cream and guacamole and enjoy
11. thank you

Read more: http://cookeatshare.com/recipes/chicken-nachos-259222#ixzz2CcuBnhTN

Getaway...

...I need to getaway. I need to go somewhere just to be out for a bit. Somewhere new and different and not just to see a movie! I wish it was not so hard for me to do so. I think I have given up on the driving thing. Or more like I know he will not let me go for it. I do not know, perhaps both!

Milky

Gaia

This lotion seems to be the only thing that works for my skin. The issue is that it is available in Australia therefore hard to get. I know one baby store that carry's the lotion and need a truck filled with it so that my poor skin can recover. It really is great stuff.

Milky

Insane Mother

...she really is crazy! She is treating my sister like garbage and it is becoming more of a problem for my sister. That woman has so many issues and she truly needs to be locked up! I cannot believe that crap she is pulling and she is such an awful person! NO WAIT! A MONSTER! I cannot stand her and have her out of my life but knowing what she is doing to my siblings make me so damn sick that all I want to do is ship her away.

She does so much bad and gets away with it all the time. There should be a law against her and she truly should be locked up! I hate her so fucking much! Now, my sister is getting to that point as well. She sees the truth more clearly, now.

Milky

Twilight!!!

My sister and I watched Twilight Friday night. The first one to the last one. We went to bed at 5am and went to see the last movie at noon. What a crazy thing! It was good and now it is all over with. great ending!

Milky

Hugooooo!!!!!

...that is what I screamed out the other morning! My silly little puppy was laying on the bed with my sister and when I came into the room, he rolled over on his back and kept going. The silly damn dog fell off the bed on his back and the iron from the ironing board off down and almost killed him. I swear this dog has nine lives.

Silly puppy!

Milky

I Will Fall – Nashville Cast Version

I’m afraid to go up onto the second floor

If you wanted to work it out why’d you lock the door

I thought I was good at loving you

But our light went out when you wanted it to

I wish you the best, I’m headed west

it’s all i know to do

I will fall, I will fall if you come around

Just when I think my heart break has settled down

I will fall, I will fall if you come around

When we said goodbye it was forever

And I spent the last year piecing my life together

Just when I think I’ve let you go

Your song’s playing on the radio

And just like that it rushes back

every part of you

I will fall, I will fall if you come around

Just when I think my heart break has settles down

I will fall, I will fall if you come around

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw2jFYwHmmk&feature=related

Foot-Cut-Infection

Leave it to me to get a small cut, not treat it properly and have to grow bigger and get infected! Not good.

Milky

Alone, again

My sister stayed longer this time but went home yesterday. I am alone, again. The house is quite and of course my mind is filling fast with darkness and the pain burns through my body greatly. I really do not know what to do any more. So much time has passed and I still cannot handle the silence. Being alone hurts so much.

Milky

Dear Friend

I hope you are well. I am sure work, family and friends keep you very busy. I hope you are caring for yourself well and are keeping up with all the healthy choices you made. I know it is hard when the holidays come around but you always fall back on a good healthy routine.


Be safe and well.
Milky

Water Well

That is what we are on and it is killing me. I have been sick from it and now my skin is taking a huge beating. The air sucks in hear too. I had to purchase a humidifier because it is so bad. I will need one for each room. It is so crazy. 

The dogs hate the water, too! They love the heat as do my sister and him but I do not, clearly. The dogs love the HUGE PARK yard and their new found friends. Phoenix is finally enjoying himself and does not have to worry about me calling him inside to early because the crappy people who we used to live next to was hurting him. Our new neighbours have two HUGE HUGE DOGS!!!!! They bark LOUDER then Phoenix ever could. Did I say Huge Dogs! I cannot believe how big they are. 

Phoenix and the neighbours dog run up and down the line of the fence. It is a sight, pretty funny. when Phoenix finally comes in he is so damn tired, he just drops to the floor and is out cold in 30 seconds. It is great. Huge tries to get in on the action but he is so small compared to those dogs that he gets all nervous, barks a couple of times then run inside to hide behind me. Another really funny thing to watch. It is great. I am happy they have adjusted well to this house. I hope the next will be the same.

Milky

Instagram Photographs

I join Instagram and I am enjoying it a lot. The work that I have seem by others is amazing. They do such good work and there are so many beautiful and creative ideas.

All of the pictures above are not mine, they were taken from instagram.

Milky

Landmark did you knows

• Did you know the Grand Canyon can hold around 900 trillion footballs
• Did you know The Great Wall of China is approximately 6,430 Km long (3,995 miles)
• Did you know the Taj Mahal in India is made entirely out of marble
• Did you know the Eiffel Tower has 1,792 steps
• Did you know Buckingham Palace has over 600 rooms
• Did you know the Eifel Tower has 2,500,000 rivets
• Did you know there are 7 points on the Statue of Liberty's crown
• Did you know the Eiffel Tower has 1,792 steps
• Did you know Niagara Falls could fill 4,000 bathtubs every second
• Did you know New York's Central Park was opened in 1876
• Did you know there is no proof as to who built the Taj Mahal
• Did you know the blueprints for the Eiffel Tower covered more than 14,000 square feet of drafting paper
• Did you know the statue of Liberty's mouth is 3 feet wide
• Did you know there are over 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building
• Did you know employees of the Vatican pay no income tax
• Did you know there are over 225,000 trees in New York's Central Park
• Did you know Mount Everest is 8.9km (5.5 miles) high
• Did you know there are over 600 windows on the Empire State Building
• Did you know the Eiffel Tower is over 300m (984 ft) tall
• Did you know the Eiffel Tower is repainted every 7 years
• Did you know the Statue of Liberty weighs over 225 tons
• Did you know there are 132 rooms in the US White House
• Did you know in 1872 Yellowstone in the US was the world's first national park
• Did you know the Empire State Building in New York weighs over 365,000 tons
• Did you know the winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze over completely

Stephen Marley-You're Gonna Leave

Which way from here
I'm caught up in the pages of my mind
And it's not so clear
But it seems the hurt is way too much this time
Cause I see a vaine look in your eyes
Tell me, do you see the same, same look in mine
Sandpapper kisses, papercut bliss
Don't know what this is, but it all leads to this
You're gonna leave, her
You have deceived, her
Ooh just a girl

Now here I go again
She said I'll break her heart again
She plays the fool again
She said I'll break the rules again
Though I disagree
She thinks she knows me more than me
It's so hard to see
What this voice keeps telling me

Ooh just a girl with featherweight curls
To expose all she knows you play like tease
Just a Girl with featherweight curls
To expose all she knows you play like tease
You're gonna leave, her
You have decieved, her
Ooh just a girl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlyZf2YS-Jg

Outcome of the Transformer Cake

As always I am in a panic when I am making a cake for anyone. This time was no different. I worry about every little detail and I get so many hives over stressing out while doing the cakes.

The party was today and everyone loved it and no one wanted to cut it! That is great and bad at the same time.

I mean great that they loved it but bad because I want them to eat it, clearly. But as always I made to many cupcakes. So, the cake will wait to be cut for another day!

Happy Birthday, Landon! Love Milky

Chili Lesson

I am teaching my sister how to make a meatless chili with the slow cooker, today. 101 - the chili! Should be interesting. This baby girl needs to learn how to cook for herself more healthy foods.

Milky

Skyfall 2

I went with my sister in law and my sister to see Skyfall and it was good. Good story line and it left things opened for more Bond movies. I always liked the bond movies so I am glad they are still making them.

Milky

Kitchen

I have a kitchen, now. Yeah me. Things are put away and no more boxes on the floor.

Milky

The Civil Wars - Billie Jean (Live at Amoeba)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQ_iwWFvRP0&feature=g-vrec

Transformer

I have to make a transformer birthday cake this week for a 5 year boy. I am super nervous about it. I hope I can pull it off.

Milky

Skyfall - Tonight

My sister in law, my sister and I are going to see Skyfall tonight. I think it is great just to get out of the house for a couple of hours. I heard that it was good so I hope it is but honestly just getting out is great! 

Milky

Doctor's...

...this morning. Went badly as always. The bone that is broken under my shoulder blade got worse. Which is my own fault because I am still working. But if I do not get this done he is going to keep yelling at me. It does not matter how much I have gotten done or how fast. To him it should have been done the day after we moved.???

I have to keep quite and not talk back. To be honest I am not allowed to talk at all on his day off unless it is to answer his questions and even then I have to be careful with my words.

I am so sick of the beatings.

Milky

My Office

Another room finally done, thank goodness. I have a place to work, a place in the family room to be alone and it is comfortable. Now, my bedroom needs to be finished and the basement. The kitchen is half done and it will be great to have all these rooms done once and for all.

Milky

Media Room

Yesterday my sister and I put together a pretty big media centre unit together. It took us about an hour and it was done before he came home. thank goodness because if he had to put it together it would have been a nightmare. He is not a fixer or handyman by any means. 

It is pretty bad when I am being yelled at for things I have no control over like getting the television remote changed over to the bell remote so that we only need to use one. I am not a loud to talk when he is here. (God forbid you read the manual????!!!!!! Oh, happy fcuking joy!

Milky

Marry Me - Train

Marry Me"

Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies

And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Marry me
Mm-hmm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ze43SFcH-FI&feature=fvwrel

I'm yours - The Script

"I'm Yours"

You touch these tired eyes of mine
And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine
I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap your thoughts in works of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
I never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

You healed these scars over time
Embraced my soul
You loved my mind
You're the only angel in my life
The day news came my best friend died
My knees went week and you saw me cry
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
I never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours

I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
I know I don't fit in that much
But I'm yours

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7ss2D_OYqk&feature=fvwrel

Dining Room

It is hard to believe but I am starting to see a dining room forming. The family room is done done done, thank goodness. It looks good not to see any more boxes in that room. I cannot wait until it is all done and I can start focusing just on the business.

Milky

Are you...

...sleeping? Perhaps, working? I wish I knew what was happening with you. I miss talking and hearing what you have to say through the dark lonely nights.

So many things I wish I knew but never will.

Milky

Otis Redding-Sitting on the dock of the bay

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCmUhYSr-e4

P.s. I Love You - Still Here

I still have one voice message from you and cannot bring myself to let it go. I save it every month and listen to it every night. After all this time I cannot believe that I still have it. It is the only piece of you that is still real and it holds me together.

Milky

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smAaDjhomLc&feature=related

Maya Angelou

 This is very true and I hate it! Milky

Not Connected

There are moments in my life that I shut down more so then what most have seen. My mind turns off and I go numb. At this moment that is the place that I am in. I feel hopeless, confused and not connected to everything or anyone. I guess that is because I am always alone. I am not sure how I am suppose to be or perhaps, I just no longer know who I am. 

My heart aches with pain and loss. the hole inside grows bigger each passing day. Each day when I wake up I wonder if this will be the day that I can forget you - but it never is. You haunt me, even now after all this time. I think of you and how things were. There is such much I would have changed but at the same time there is so much that I do not know how to let go of it.

Some days, are harder then others and some days are worse then the bad days. I hope that you have found peace and that - I do not know.

Milky