Lost, Hurt & Confused

Lost - I have never felt so lost as I am now. I have felted complete a couple of times and now both of those times I have lost. I have lost so many people I loved and I do not know how to come back from that. All this lost is controlling my everything inside me and I do not know how to turn it off. I want so much to stop because I know it is lost but I just do not know how. HOW? Please for the Love of all that is Holy just tell me, how?

Hurt - Why does it have to hurt so bad? How did this happen? I knew I would be broken hearted and I was scare love and of being broken hearted and I am. I had no clue that this was going to happen and I am so upset. I am upset with you but I am more upset with myself. For believing that things were possible, that love was possible and that things in my life would change.  I thought I knew he loved me but I was completely wrong. 

Confused - This is why I do not love, you lose yourself,  it hurts, and you are so confused about everything, this is why I will never love, again. I do not want it, it is so awful. I loved him and I do not know what to do now.  What does he think, feel and want? It is not me and I was stupid, stupid to believe that it was real. Why am I not good enough? It does not matter who I am or how good I was because the bad is just that - BAD! Why did I do this to us? What the hell did this happened? Because I feel like I am nothing!

Milky