Your heart, my heart.

I miss you, my heart, my love. Now, forever and always. Happy New Year!

Your heart

Say goodbye

Say goodbye, again. Another goodbye! A painful goodbye and each goodbye pushes us further away from each other and I hate it so much!

Milky

We were free

Life is crazy

We walk on by

Will you remember

The hurt is real

The pain is not gone

Fear is real and I am dying

Life was beautiful

We walk on by

Will you remember

The love was real

The happiness was all we needed

Hope was alive

All that we can believe

Are the tears that we cry

All that we can believe

Are the times we loved

And were free

Milky

New Year Eve - Quote

The ball has stopped half to its purch. It is suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the new year, to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. To remember both our triumphs and our missteps, our promises made and broken, the times we opened ourselves up to great advantures or close ourselves down for fear for getting hurt. Because that is what New Years is about. Getting another chance, a chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more and to stop worrying about what if's and start embarrassing what will be. So, when that ball drops at midnight, and it will drop, let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other and not just tonight but all year round.

A part from the movie I really liked and thought it was a beautiful thought.

Milky
Second chances do not expire at midnight!

Facebook crazy people!

I have all kinds of people being added but I never asked anyone? Yet, they have confirmed that we are friends? Facebook is creepy crazy!

Milky

Big fresh ball of fur!

Phoenix has this odd habit of taking my flip flop off my foot and making a mad dash off with it. Hmmmmm, you think he want to play? Yes, you would be right! I play with him, get him going and 30 seconds later he runs to my bed to pass out! Lol!?? What an old fart! He kills me! Fun and games are over, nap time for him.

Milky

New Years Eve

I am home alone, I knew it would be this way. For the most part being out is desired and yet I want to stay home. Being around people is getting harder for me each day. I just do not want to pretend or lie about how I am feeling. The fact is that I am still not okay and it looks or feels like I never will be.

I am starting a new year alone but let's be honest I am always alone. I am alone everyday, every night and for every important mile stone. I know that friends have asked me to come out with them and I have declined many times, so I am sure they are giving up on me. I do not blame them, I blame myself. 

I really do not know how I got back here. Cutting out the world and hiding who I am and what makes me - me. A lot of it has to do with what and who I have lost, while other reasons do play a part of my reasons. I just do not like myself, in the end that is what it is really about.

If I do not like myself, how the hell can I ask others to like me, let alone be around me?

I wish all of you a wonderful and safe New Year!

Milky

Wtfh?

Just came home from the movie. It was okay but out of nowhere I am in so much pain. It is like some just stabbed me in my back, my side and tummy. Good lord! My body is shaking and my heart is racing and pounding like crazy. This is 100% nuts!

Milky

Movie Time

I am going out today to see a movie with my sister in law. A comedy  not really my thing but hopefully it will be funny. I need some laugh time instead of more crying. It will also be nice to get outside for a bit. I have been locked up for a week and it is driving me nuts. 

Farmland is great but with not much around it tends to suck.

Milky

I would walk 500 miles! The Proclaimers

When I wake up, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out, yeah, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
If I get drunk, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver, hey, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

But I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

When I'm working, yes, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home (When I come home), oh, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you

But I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da
Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da

When I'm lonely, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you
And when I'm dreaming, well, I know I'm gonna dream
I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you
When I go out (When I go out), well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
And when I come home (When I come home), yes, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you
I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you

But I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da
Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da
Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da
Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da

And I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles

To fall down at your doorhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmPFioq1l6o

Rie

Not Going Anywhere

Will you hold on to me tonight, we can pretend to be fine
I don't want to let you go

Cause nothing here is makes sense and our world is caving in
But I don't want to let you go

They say that if you give it all up
Everything will work itself out
Well know this -I'm waving my flag in the air
Believe me when I say I'm right here
I'm not going anywhere

Tell me what’s left of us remains, is all worth it all in the end
I don't want to let you go

I want to be your confidant, you can tell me anything you want
I don't want to let you go

They say that if you give it all up
Everything will work itself out
Well know this - I'm waving my flag in the air
Believe me when I say I'm right here
I'm not going anywhere

So tell me how do we find
How to love by letting it go
So tell me how do I try
To let you go when I only want to hold on

They say that if you give it all up
Everything will work itself out
Well know this - I'm waving my flag in the air
Believe me when I say I'm right here
I'm not going anywhere

Rie Sinclair - Pale

Strum for me on your harmony
Steel and wound, your rocket ship launches on
Hush little sugar don't forget
All your sails are up and dancing in the air

Tarnished stars hung, broken night song
Reason cannot cry but I love you always
Lighting seeds crash pale on your pillowcase
Teary eyelids fall but I love you always

Play & sing on your harmony
Shiny black your compass flips and draws you back
Hush little sugar have no fear
Strum for me & float into the midnight sea

Tarnished stars hung, broken night song
Reason cannot cry but I love you always
Lighting seeds crash pale on your pillowcase
Teary eyelids fall but I love you always

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bL20iTwpp0

http://www.riesinclair.com/

BarlowGirl - I Need You To Love Me

Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it's here I see the truth
I don't deserve You

[Chorus:]
But I need You to love me, and I
I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending that I can
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me

I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing You away from me
I just never saw how You could cherish me
'Cause You're a God who has all things
And still You want me

Your love makes me forget what I have been
Your love makes me see who I really am
Your love makes me forget what I have been

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOyNOzCGZ1c

Infected Finger

Only me! My finger is infected and it kills. I mean how is it possible that I cut my finger on a bone in the damn bird while preparing to cook it!? 

Leave it to me. I guess it really does not surprise me. I tend to be clumsy but I am most definitely not trying to be. It just happens that way and things to not go according to plan. Even though I plan things very carefully.

Oh well, I guess this can be added to the rest of my list of injuries.

Milky 

Hate me

I am sitting at my desk in my office. Hugo is at my feet under the desk snoring, as always. It is dark outside, so I cannot see anything. The house is quite but that is the case for the most part, that is until both Phoenix and Hugo decide to bark like mad dogs in heat.

Writing something down is not always easy for me. Sometimes I will talk about random nothings and other times it might be interesting thought that may or may not touch someone when they read my words.

I am not of any importance so the likely hood that people care are not likely. More or less this is for me to write and one day come back to read it. Perhaps, along the way I will have learned more about myself and will understand my mistakes in life.

I am not without flaws but no one is. I know my wrongs and will admit them, do you, does anyone else feel the same? Who knows, right? People are all different and the way we handle our mistakes are very different. I feel guilt and sadness when I think of all the foolish things I have done. They were stupid and as much as I am sorry I cannot redo life. 

I think it is those who have been hurt by mistakes are the ones I wish to fix. No, it is not my place to do so but they were hurt and I hate that. I hate me for that.

Milky

Staring

Sometimes I stare at my telephone hoping that it will be you calling. Other times I want to call you. Neither will ever happen. I had hoped and dreamed that this was not to be forever but it is and forever is a long time.

I think of many things that cannot happen and it drives me insane. At times I think taking up drinking will help to numb the pain and perhaps, bury all memories of you. I know that is stupid and not the answer.

The fact is forgetting you is not the answer either. If I did then I would have never known what love was like or could be like. I wish I had more time and at the same time I know it would have been selfish. You need to be in peace and I truly hope that you have found peace.

Milky

Rie Sinclair - No Way Out

You turn the room a shade heaven
And learn my name
The world asleep
While stone and sand keep shifting
Were the heart made of brass?
O I a bird inside a cage?
Waiting, unfolded, hue and clay
Giving into your refrain and melody
The very thought unbinding me

No one ever will love me better than
Your everlasting love
I found only one way in and no way out

Will time illuminate the stains
And stop the pain
The night you held me under a spell
You know I cannot hide
You're the very thing unwinding me

No one ever will love me better than
Your everlasting love
I found only one way in and no way out

Tear my soul like paper
Carefully breaking off
A bitter tonic of lies
You cut me deeper inside
Only to sew me back up

You turn the room a shade heaven
You know my name

No one ever will love me better than
Your everlasting love
I found only one way in and no way out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_t6rcja1Gk

Butter Avenue

Butter Avenue has great Macarons. They are really yummy tasty. One of those things that you cannot just have one. This is just one place that I have to have them but later looking into it there are many places that have them. lucky us!

Milky

What are Macarons?


A macaron (French pronunciation: ​[makaˈʁɔ̃]^[1] is a sweet meringue-based confectionery made with egg whites, icing sugar, granulated sugar, almond powder or ground almond, and food colouring.^[2] The macaron is commonly filled with ganache, buttercream or jam filling sandwiched between two cookies. Its name is derived from the Italian word maccarone or maccherone.

The confectionery is characterised by its smooth, squared top, ruffled circumference (referred to as the "foot"), and flat base. It is mildly moist and easily melts in the mouth.^[3] Macarons can be found in a wide variety of flavors that range from the traditional (raspberry, chocolate) to the new (foie gras, matcha).^[4] The fillings can range from jams to ganache to butter.
Since the English word macaroon can also refer to the coconut macaroon, many have adopted the French spelling of macaron to distinguish the two items in the English language. However, this has caused confusion over the correct spelling. Some recipes exclude the use of macaroon to refer to this French confection while others think that they are synonymous.^[5]

Titanium - David Guetta ft. Sia

[Sia:]
You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

[Chorus:]
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium

[Sia:]
Cut me down
But it's you who'll have further to fall
Ghost town, haunted love
Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones
I'm talking loud not saying much

[Chorus:]
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
I am titanium
I am titanium

[Sia:]
Stone-hard, machine gun
Fired at the ones who run
Stone-hard as bulletproof glass

[Chorus:]
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
I am titanium

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGoCtJzPHkU

Love Never Fails

This may be true for same and yet not so much for others. This does include me and it really sucks. I always thought that I would have a loving husband and beautiful children. I thought that we would grow old and grey together, sitting on the porch drinking lemonade on a hot summer afternoon, watching our grand babies running around and there would be love and happiness. But that is not the case. Instead I am growing old and grey alone with no one to share my days with. So, NO! Love does fail!                                       

Milky

Instagram by Sefayamak

 This photograph is beautiful.

Milky

Christmas tree!

 Beautiful tree, great job!

Looks even better at night!

Things to Tell -Rie Sinclair

How can I tell you
how you caught me off guard with your heart,
I need a little time to believe in love.
Some of these thoughts don’t add up to rational black and white,
Wishing right now to erase them and start again.
See, I need you, I need us, and to believe in love,
I need truth, and not just the hard answer,
I need to and I need to tell you the things I’m afraid to.
So don’t leave me far in the distance,
measuring time isn’t right,
the cause and effect of what you did when you walked in my life.
Only spells danger to be vulnerable, and I wonder if your wounds will heal mine,
But just in case I may need a little time.
I need you, I need us, and to believe in love,
I need truth, and not just, the hard answer,
and I need to, I need to tell you the things I’m afraid to.
Oh..well… Tell me that you’ll stay;
tell me you won’t walk away,
even if I take awhile.
Also tell me that you’ll be there, tell me that you need me
Even if this is hard to do...
‘Coz I… I need you, I need us and to believe in love,
I need truth, not just a hard answer,
I need to, I need to tell you things I’m afraid to,
because falling again isn’t easy and baby this may take a little time.

Read more at http://www.lyrics.com/things-to-tell-lyrics-rie-sinclair.html#RVUC8rUReEgHH0e5.99

(forget)

Yesterday was awful for me and today is not much better. I was at the hospital being treated for dehydration and sleep deprivation. I am definitely not okay and that was more clear when I lost your voice message.

the pain inside is so unreal and after all this time I would have never guessed it would hurt this much. But I was wrong and clearly not over you. I do not know what to do about it. How do I stop feeling this way? About you? How do I just let go? It is crazy, I am crazy for allowing myself to feel like this. I hate it.

I want to forget and at the same time I do not. I guess the pain is a reminder of what and how things were. Bad and good. Wrong or right is was there.

I have excepted that you are gone and will never return to my world and that I to get passed all of this but it is so hard. Yesterday showed me just how hard it truly was. The hole inside me is now ten times deeper and bigger.

I just want to go home, hide under the blankets and sleep. (forget)

Milky

Emily Carr ~ Indian Church

I am a fan of her work. I love this painting.

Art by Soho Art

I never let go

I have been hurting so much since you have been gone and I thought as time went by it would hurt less and go away, but it never went away.

I, now have this huge empty hole inside me bigger then ever and it is killing me like nothing I have felt before. It is physical pain, strong, tight and it takes my breathe away.

I do not understand why it still hurts so much or why I cannot get over you. Having this pain, I know that you are real and love was real but now it is the pain that is real. So much pain.

I need you, I need us and I never let go.

Milky

You are completely gone

No more hello, love
No more of your voice

Now, you are completely gone
It is killing deep within me, having to lose you all over, again
The screams are dying to come out but no one can hear them
More silence
And the tears well up in my eyes, the tears fall down my face
The tears will not stop, the tears will not go away
Because the last piece of you is gone

No more laughter
No more of your loving words

Now, you are completely gone
My heart is killing deep within me
The angry is dying to come out but no one can ever know
More silence, overwhelming silence
And I am still crying, the tear keep falling
Because the last piece of you is gone

No more I love you
No more I am missing you

Now, you are completely gone
The hole inside is painful deep within me
The pain is dying to come out but you are there to help
More silence, to much silence
And the tears welling in my eyes keep falling
Because the last piece of you that held onto for so long is gone

How do I move on now that you are completely gone?

Milky

Telus

I looked online to see if I could get your voice message back and it says to select 19  from the main menu and it will be recovered but it is not recovering your message. I do not know what to do and it hurts so much. I hurt so much because I am losing you all over again!

I want to scream but I cannot even breathe. I cannot talk through the tears and you are gone! Please please please do not let this be! Not to be forever, oh god!

After all this time it should not still hurt but it does! I just want it to stop! I want to be over you! I cannot handle this anymore. You are gone! Gone! Let me be gone! I hurt so much. My heart is breaking all over again, why?

Every single month I saved that message. It is all I had left of you, of us. After all this time! You are gone. You are gone! I do not know what to do, now. I lost you all over again! It hurts so bloody much!

What do I do?

It is 3:25am and I cannot sleep. I am missing you. When I do I go to voicemail and there you are. You have beautiful things to say and I have kept it after all this time. Each month resaving it. Tonight was different instead of saving the message I deleted it!

Now, you are truly gone and I am so broken heartached all over again. It was by mistake and I have nothing of you anymore. You left me all over again. I cannot breathe!

Boxing Day

You would think that I would have slept last but I did not! I tossed and turned, had bad dreams and nightmares. It is getting closer to a year, since my breakdown and I am starting to freak out more. I do not know what to do or how to stop myself from losing control.

I am worrying about how things are and wish so much that things would be different. There are so many things going through my mind and so many things I wish I could change but I know that cannot happen and it is killing me inside!

Milky

Holiday 3

I did not sleep well or even enough. I was very upset that my sister cancelled on me. Of course I had to get up to start cooking.

I did all the prep work, had everything ready. I cooked everything at my house to take to my in laws. Once I got everything ready and started cooking their food I had to start dressing the turkey I got for dinner with my sister.

That bird was a killer! I could not get the neck out, so he helped but it was wedged inside so tightly. Our hands and fingers were frozen. I took my hand out washed them and it was then that we noticed the blood.

I kept saying where is the blood coming from. He said from your finger. Sure enough my finger was bleeding. He wrapped it up tightly but it was bleeding through. We wrapped it more and I put a glove on. He helped me to finish the rest.

Leave it to me to get hurt.

One turkey
One pork roast
Green beans with butter and garlic
Carrots
Corn
Stuffing
20 lbs of mashed potatoes
Two gravies
Broth with egg noodles
Cupcakes

All of this cooked and ready to go. He packed up the car and it got ready. We finished off the cooking at their house so that I could start my turkey.

Omg! It was so much cooking going on. I still cannot believe that he helped me. I asked repeatedly to rewrap my finger and he would take me to the hospital to get stitches but I just wanted to get the dinner done and over with.

We had dinner and to my surprise it did not suck, or at least they did not say it sucked. Some had a lot to me. My mother in law and father in law love it. My brother in laws said thank you, again a surprise. All of these surprises confused me. But the fact that I got through it was great.

At that point my sister messages me, she wanted to come over for our dinner. He took me home and picked her up. Our dinner was at 9:30pm. Dinner at my in laws was at 5pm. He and I did not eat much there because we were having dinner here later.

The killer bird was finally dead, stuffing, roasted and eaten! It actullay turned out perfect. Except for the part that I cut my fingerprint pad off on finger! That was done on the bone of the bird and not a knife. Who knew?

My sister opened her gifts and we had a few laughs. He took her home and Christmas was over. No mess to clean up, because I cleaned as I went. Which was a good thing because I was so tired.

I hope everyone had a beautiful wonderful Christmas with their love ones.

Milky

Ps. The writer to the comment of merry Christmas, thank you.

Holiday 2

Christmas Eve. I made black olives and tuna in a red sauce over pasta with crusty bread. That was part one. I made butter lemon basa fish with shrimp over brown rice and sweet corn. That was part two. Insalate with aged balsamic dressing and more crusty bread. I was surprised that he liked it. the pasta was something I learned from my mother in law and we have not had it in serval years. It turned out very well.

I made a caramel spice coffee bundt cake with fresh whip cream to bring to my in laws. They love it, so I am going to put it on the menu.

My father in law kept saying it is good, very fresh and still warm inside. He kept asking if it was from the bakery? I kept telling him I made it just before we came over. He was not getting until I told him the third time. It was pretty funny.

My mother in law was brought home both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. She was so happy about that and it was good to see her back in her house. It is a shame that she had to go back to the hospital. I hate seeing her there but she is well cared for there.

Milky

Merry Christmas

It is 4:02am Christmas morning. My house looks like Christmas and smells like Christmas. My sister really wanted Christmas here and I felt bad so I said okay.

I have been baking for days and cooking like crazy to make this day special for her and for my in laws.

My sister cancelled Christmas and she just did it 30 minutes ago. I have been beating myself to have a relationship her and that is not easy with all the crap and lies that witch told my sister. I know she has something to do with this.

I have never nor will I ever turn my back on my siblings but this really sucks and hurts so damn much.

Some Christmas this is. One side no family and the other side no respect, I am just the cook and cleaner.

I am the most stupidest person in the world. And truly alone.

Merry Christmas.
Milky.

Holidays 1

I did so much baking the last two days. The house smells like a bakery and so do I. It is all over me and even in my hair. Shower time. I have so much to cook in the next two day. I still need to bake a spice coffee cake and cookies. Photographs to follow.

My first set of gifts were given today and this little loves spider-man so much. His eyes lit up and I swear he stopped breathing for a moment. I filled a box of nothing but spider-man things. It was crazy good.

This is why I like Christmas. When it is about the children and not the silly who got whom what.

More to come. 

Milky

The baking starts

...this is going to get a bit messy! The repair guys are gone and I am going to start baking. Oh, happy joy! I actually like this part of my life.

Milky

Blackberry

I have to say that I hate the blackberry cell phone but I also hate the IPhones. I do not think that there is ever going to be a cell that is going to be great! 

Pros for Blackberry
You can hear clearly on it
There are some good apps for it
BBM is easy and great
Emails are great

Cons for the Blackberry

Does not hold the charge well when you have to many photographs on it
Does not take great photographs
The delay for taking photographs sucks
Live Profile is to slow and will freeze my cell (BBM for Blackberry and IPhones)

There are pros and cons for IPhone too. They drop calls and you can never hear the other person very well.

Now there is the new window cell, maybe that one will be better but the chances are that it will soon suck, too.

Milky

Gingerbread Cookies from Food Network

Paula Dean Recipe

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
• 1 stick butter or margarine, softened
• 2 large eggs
• 1/4 cup molasses
• 3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting work surface
• 2 teaspoons ground ginger
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Icing:

• 1 cup confectioners' sugar, sifted
• 1 to 2 tablespoons milk
• Food coloring, as desired

Directions

Using an electric mixer at low speed, cream the sugar and butter until thoroughly combined. Add the eggs and molasses and mix until combined. Sift together the flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Add the dry ingredients to the butter mixture and combine with a spoon or spatula.
Remove the dough from the bowl and wrap in plastic wrap; place in the refrigerator until firm, about 1 hour.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Line cookie sheets with parchment paper. Allow the dough to sit at room temperature for about 15 minutes, until pliable. Take about 1/2 cup of dough at a time and roll onto a floured board until about 1/8-inch thick. Cut out with gingerbread boy and girl cookie cutters. You can re-roll the scraps. Using a spatula, transfer the cookies from the board to the prepared cookie sheets.
Bake for 10 minutes, until just beginning to brown at the edges. Transfer to wire racks to cool.
To make the icing, combine the confectioners' sugar and milk. Divide the mixture into thirds; leave 1/3 white, and color 1/3 green and the final third red. Decorate piping eyes, mouths, buttons, and bow ties.

My HEAD!!!!

OMG! If it was not bad enough it just got worse. These guys are cut wood with a saw from hell. My head is splitting in half. I am going to be sick. They have no idea what they are doing and I know that I would be able to do a better job. This is insane! I cannot wait for them to go. I hate being here alone with them and I am so mad at this bum that I just want to chew him out! 

Milky

Last Night

The wind was howling so hard last night. The television gets knocked out every time so it is super quite here. That leaves me reading or it would if I could find the box with the books. We have a fireplace and it is huge but I will not use it because I do not think it has been used in years. So, with my luck the house would burn down.

It would be nice to be curled up on the sofa with a book and a nice burning fire. I am out of luck for two things. 

This house has the charm and oldness that I like. It also has the size and a great yard but because it was never taken care of properly there have been so many issues and repairs needed. 

When I think about how nice it could have been and all the great memories that would have been it makes me sad. We will be here for the year, perhaps two but then we move again and that makes me mad, upset and it is just a reminder of how bad things are. 

No life, no love and no family. It is not hard to understand why I would be upset or even insane. If others live this way, I am sorry. I have no idea how they handle it because being alone sucks.

Milky

Snow Day

We have had some snow falling in but it has stopped. The parkyard has a blanket of snow on it and Phoenix loves it. Hugo, not so much but I think it is because has fur gets wet and it is to heavy for him to carry. It is really funny to watch him run back to the house with his floppy ears and his rabbit run/hop. 

I wanted snow and hope it snows through Christmas to New Years Day but then it can stop and melt away for the rest of the year. Any luck of that happening? No, I am sure none. Oh, well. At least my bedroom is not an oven anymore.

Milky

Facebook

Honestly, I really do not get facebook. I think the whole thing is dumb. It is not for me that is for sure. I know so many people that have it and think it is great but I am not seeing what is great about it.

I am maintaining a page for the business and I am always getting updates but not I things I even care about or even know about for that matter. All care about is that people are seeing the business.

Today, was the first day that a client from the babytime show has called in to redeem a coupon. So, hopefully this is the first of many. Who knows!

Milky

Holidays/Repairs

I did not think that these two things would be put together but here I am waiting for the repair guy to come. He was suppose to be here in the morning and it is now 2:05 pm. That does not surprise me at all. I have so much baking to do for the holidays that I need to get done today. This bum better hurry up up or I am going to put hot coal up his a**!!!!

Milky

The Killers - Here With Me

Wheels are turning
I remember when you were mine
Now just to reach you
Baby, I'd stand in line

But there's another world
We're living in
Tonight

And there's another heart
That's fading in
The light

Don't want your picture
On my cell phone
I want you here with me
Don't want your memory
In my head now
I want you here with me

Spent the summer, just laying out in the sun
Time seems to move so slow
When you're taking it as it comes
Maybe we were just too young

Your body was tanned and your hair was long
You showed me your smile and my cares were gone
Falling in love filled my soul with fright
You said "Come on babe, it'll be alright"
I must have been a fool to the bitter end
Now I hold on to hope to have you back again
I'd bargain and I'd fight

But there's another world
We're living in
Tonight

Don't want your picture
On my cell phone
I want you here with me
I don't want your memory
In my head now
I want you here with me

Well I saw you in a restaurant
The other day
And instead of walking towards you
I ran away
And I'll keep on waiting for you
Till you'll come around
Come around and say

Don't want your picture
On my cell phone
I want you here with me
Don't need those memories
In my head now
I want you here with me

Ooooh!
Ooooh!
Here with me
Ooooh!
Ooooh!
Ooooh!
Here with me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SxTyvOixJA

Sigur Rós - Leaning Towards Solace feat. Dauðalogn and Varúð

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPBLTlLTFHA

Most did you knows

• Did you know most lipsticks contain fish scales
• Did you know the most commonly used letter in the alphabet is E
• Did you know the 3 most common languages in the world are Mandarin Chinese, Spanish and English
• Did you know Switzerland eats the most chocolate equating to 10 kilos per person per year
• Did you know the most common mental illnesses are anxiety and depression
• Did you know the most commonly forgotten item for travelers is their toothbrush
• Did you know your most sensitive finger is your index finger (closest to your thumb)
• Did you know Monopoly is the most played board game in the world
• Did you know Scotland has the most redheads
• Did you know India has the most post offices than any other country (over 100,000)
• Did you know the most fatal car accidents occur on Saturdays
• Did you know soccer is the most followed sport
• Did you know your most active muscles are in your eye
• Did you know after Hawaii, New York is the state surrounded by the most water
• Did you know the most sung song is happy birthday
• Did you know the most common injury in ten pin bowling is a sore thumb
• Did you know most of the Vitamin C found in fruits is in the skin
• Did you know the most common disease is tooth decay
• Did you know avocados have the most calories of any other fruit
• Did you know Jack is the most common name in nursery rhymes
• Did you know the most common time for a wake up call is 7am
• Did you know blue and white are the most common school colors
• Did you know the most eaten fruit in America is the banana
• Did you know the most common Spanish surname is Garcia
• Did you know the most popular snack food is potato chips
• Did you know the most popular toothbrush color is blue
• Did you know per person France consumes the most cheese
• Did you know the most valuable nutrients of a potato are its skin
• Did you know lettuce is the worlds most popular green vegitable
• Did you know most spiders have transparent blood
• Did you know coffee is the most popular beverage worldwide with over 400 billion cups consumed each year
• Did you know in American supermarkets peanut butter is one of the most frequently purchased items
• Did you know the most commonly used word in English conversation is 'I'
• Did you know the world's most expensive spice is saffron
• Did you know hydrogen is the most abundant element in the Universe (75%)

Trips

As I am sitting here my sister is messaging me on 'Touch" another type of BBM. She is cleaning her closet out and finding photographs. 

We went on a cruise together just her and I and it really was great. It was good to have the one on one time and to be in the places we went to. We saw amazing places both beautiful and filled with so much life. I wish we could just get away, again. I would not come back.

Milky

Let It Snow!!!!

It does not seem like it is going to be Christmas next week. There is no snow outside. For me I do hope it will snow. I always liked the way it looks. I even do not mind the cold like others. I leave my window opened and it feels great. It also helps to have a better sleep.

Let it snow!

Milky

More to do

The house is coming along. Just need the repairs to get done to put away the finally items. The repair guy says he is coming Saturday morning but who knows. I have so much cooking and baking to do this weekend it is going to be insane.

Milky

Starting....

...a business sucks! I do not know why I even bother.

Milky

Trusting Others

What is the point? Everyone lies, cheats and are back stabbers. Judging others is so easy for people to do but who gave them the right? What makes them better then the rest.

Whatever, you have done, whatever mistakes you have made how is it really different from others?

How can there be so many perfect people? It truly makes me sick when people  pretend to care about you but really it is nothing but lies. People use people. Others hurt you more or less then the other one.

In the end it is all the same. You cannot trust anyone, not even when society so you should.

Do the best you can with your own life and shut the fuck up about the rest of the world! It is not your place to judge them and you are no fucken better!

Milky

Bank Fees

My sister had a bank account that was charging her $15 a month to use her debit card and her own money? That is insane. I had no idea that some banks do that. Shows that my head was in a cloud. We switched her to PC. it has no fees at all. Now, she is on her way. 

The fact that the banks do this is crazy. Steal money from those who really cannot afford to throw it away on stupid fees. It is just like us having to pay an extra month to rogers even though we are not using their products because they do not service the area we are in. Bullshit! It is all just bullshit!

These companies should be arrested for theft over $1000. Good lord!

Milky

Recipe courtesy Alton Brown - EggNog

Ingredients

• 4 egg yolks
• 1/3 cup sugar, plus 1 tablespoon
• 1 pint whole milk
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 3 ounces bourbon
• 1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 4 egg whites*

Directions

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the egg yolks until they lighten in color. Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and continue to beat until it is completely dissolved. Add the milk, cream, bourbon and nutmeg and stir to combine.

Place the egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat to soft peaks. With the mixer still running gradually add the 1 tablespoon of sugar and beat until stiff peaks form.
Whisk the egg whites into the mixture. Chill and serve.

Cook's Note: For cooked eggnog, follow procedure below.

In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the egg yolks until they lighten in color. Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and continue to beat until it is completely dissolved. Set aside.

In a medium saucepan, over high heat, combine the milk, heavy cream and nutmeg and bring just to a boil, stirring occasionally. Remove from the heat and gradually temper the hot mixture into the egg and sugar mixture. Then return everything to the pot and cook until the mixture reaches 160 degrees F. Remove from the heat, stir in the bourbon, pour into a medium mixing bowl, and set in the refrigerator to chill.

In a medium mixing bowl, beat the egg whites to soft peaks. With the mixer running gradually add the 1 tablespoon of sugar and beat until stiff peaks form. Whisk the egg whites into the chilled mixture.

* Raw Egg Warning

Food Network Kitchens suggest caution in consuming raw and lightly cooked eggs due to the slight risk of salmonella or other food-borne illness. To reduce this risk, we recommend you use only fresh, properly refrigerated, clean grade A or AA eggs with intact shells, and avoid contact between the yolks or whites and the shell. For recipes that call for eggs that are raw or undercooked when the dish is served, use shell eggs that have been treated to destroy salmonella, by pasteurization or another approved method.

From Ree Drummond Turkey

Ingredients

• 2 gallons water
• 2 cups apple juice
• 1 1/2 cups kosher salt
• 2 cups brown sugar
• 5 cloves garlic, crushed
• 5 bay leaves
• 4 tablespoons black peppercorns
• 2 tablespoons dried rosemary
• 3 oranges, peeled, white pith removed, skin roughly chopped
• 1 (20-pound) fresh turkey
• 1 1/2 sticks softened butter
• 3 tablespoons minced fresh rosemary leaves
• 3 tablespoons chopped orange zest

Directions

Combine the water, apple juice, salt, sugar, garlic, bay leaves, peppercorns, dried rosemary, and orange peel in a large pot and bring to a boil. Turn off the heat immediately, cover, and allow mixture to come to room temperature. Cool mixture in the fridge until you're ready.
To brine the turkey, remove the turkey from wrapper, remove interior bags (set aside; refrigerate), and rinse turkey thoroughly under cool water.
Place the turkey into a plastic brining bag or a very large pot.
Pour the cooled brine mixture over the top, adding extra cold water if you need more to completely cover the turkey. Seal the bag or cover the pot and allow the turkey to brine in the refrigerator for 16 to 24 hours before roasting.
Before roasting, remove the turkey from brine and rinse thoroughly under cold water. Then soak in a sink full of fresh water for 15 to 20 minutes. Pat dry. Discard brine. (This soaking process will decrease the likelihood of too-salty gravy).
Preheat the oven 275 degrees F.
Truss the bird and place it breast side up on a rack in a large roasting pan. Cover the turkey tightly with heavy-duty foil. Make sure it's entirely covered (cover over the bottom edges of the pan). Place in the oven and roast for about 10 minutes per pound (a 20 pound turkey will roast for about 3 1/2 hours).
Remove the turkey from the oven and increase the temperature to 375 degrees F. Remove the aluminum foil and set aside. Mix the softened butter with the rosemary and orange peel and rub all over the skin of the turkey, covering every single inch of the skin. Insert a meat thermometer into the thigh, near the hip joint. Place the turkey, uncovered, back into the oven. Continue roasting the turkey, basting with butter every 30 minutes, until the thermometer registers 170 degrees F and until the juices are no longer pink.
Remove from the oven and cover with foil until you are ready to carve and serve. Reserve pan juices to make gravy.
Cook's Note: This is enough for a 20 pound fresh turkey. You can decrease the quantity for a smaller bird.

• A viewer, who may not be a professional cook, provided this recipe. The Food Network Kitchens chefs have not tested this recipe and therefore, we cannot make representation as to the results.

Breaking Down

Tears still fall down my face when I remember everything even though everything inside me is dead and gone. There is no running from the past and there is no future so now what? What do I do now?

I cannot control the feelings I have and I do not know how to shut everything down. my breakdowns are happening closer together and I cannot stop them no matter much I have tried.

You are in everything. Just go! Leave me the hell alone! I hate you and love you all at once and it is the death of me. I am so mad!!! So, HURT!!! Is it not enough? 

Milky

Sarahsing321

I don't want to talk about
The way that it all went down
Just that it doen't seem right to me
That right now they're supposed to be happy tonight
Sitting by the Christmas tree
Getting kisses from their daddies
Making memories
And when I think of all their little faces
All I can see


She could have been sixteen
Homecoming queen
And just next year for Halloween
He'd be spider man, hold his daddies hand
And now they'll cancel their Christmas plans
And sit all alone in their pretty home
That's never seemed seems so dark and cold
and it doesn't really matter what they wanted to be
Just that they woulda been somebodys
How could you take a somebody?


I don't want to think about
what her mommas thinkin now
and she's sitting alone in that house wondering
Whats she supposed to do with the empty room
And the teddy bears
That her daughter loved
And the ginat bear hugs
She'll never get again

Oh he coulda been a fireman
Saving people's live
But he took his before he got to try
She'd be a poet
Writing bout how shes loved her life
She could have worn a blue dress at her highschool prom
Than a white one for the wedding gown
And her momma woulda said
Your so beautiful baby
Oh they coulda been somebodys

And tonight
26* new pairs of wings are flying
and 20 are much to small to
fly on such a cold night

she coulda been laying down
in her little bed
thanking god for the great day she had
but instead she'll lay
In a much different place

they coulda been 21
or 35
and living out beautiful lives
in a photo album
spanning 80 years
but that was taken
and replaced by tears
and in a year or two
the pain is less
but they still won't have their baby back
and out of all the things in the world
I don't understand
Why you'd take a somebody


26* angel wings
20 small and clean
26 torn-out dreams
20 suppsed to be's

Jose Archuleta

Published on Dec 14, 2012

Lyrics: 

I kissed you on your head, 

off to school you went, 

I said I loved you one last time
then I heard the news, 

so lost so confused, 

thats when I lost my mind
Cause; I'd give anything anything, 

to have you back again back again

Id give anything anything to see your smile
how could I have known

I'd never see you grown,

I'd never see your smile again
how could I have known, 

I'd never bring you home
but I would say goodbye instead
only six years old, 

your whole life to go, 

what you could have been, 

now we will never know.
ch tag:to hold in my arms,

I'd keep you safe and warm 

I'd give anything 

I'd give anything

Facebook Link: http://www.facebook.com/jose.archuleta.12

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSpxaL01NA

Evil

Most people have no idea what evil is. They have never seen it, lived through or felt it. I have seen evil, been touched by evil and I have lived through evil. I have been hurt by evil and it is not something you can ever forget. I have had to face evil many times and it is dark, it is awful and it eats at me everyday.

People go blind when they are outsiders looking into the eyes of others pain. They shuts their eyes and pretend that it does not exist. But it does and for those you have had to deal with it truly want to be saved from it.

Some are saved but most are not and they are abandon and forgotten, like me.

Milky

My big puppy!

Phoenix has a lump on his leg. It is huge and I am not sure how he got. I think he landed badly going downstairs or perhaps landed funny when jumping off my bed. I have noticed him hiding a lot which worries me.

They say when a dog knows it is their time they look for a dark spot to hide and he has been doing that. He has also been staying closer to me. sleeping at the end of the bed and not staying with him as much. he cries more when he cannot get to me. As selfish as this sounds, I do not want to lose my dogs. They are all I have. I do not want him to suffer either, and I pray that I will not have to put him down. I do not think I would have the strength to do that. I hope it does not come down to that. Please do not come down to that.

 

Milky

Darker days, no light

I see only darker days,
No light, no peace.
Just darker days.
No forgiveness, no hope.
Just more loss, more darkness.

I feel overwhelm by thoughts,
Thoughts that run wild.
Thoughts that run through my cold veins,
Into my broken cold heart.

I see no blessings, no light,
There is no life, no love.
And there is no reason for life,
There is no room to breathe.

I see the path that only leads to destructions,
And it burns me in the flames of hell.
The desire left is to stop,
Stop feeling, stop dreaming of what is not.

I see nothing, no one and no light,
There is only loss and loneliness.
I see only darkness, death and
Hate, so much hate.

I see my place in the depths of hell,
Burning for eternity, and forever alone.
There is no light, there is no love,
There is no one and I am alone.

I see darker days, only darker days.
Always and forever, darker days.
And never no light,
Never no peace, never no love.

Milky

Love is...

...a lie.
It is not kind or true.
It is not forever or forgiveness.
It is not understanding and patient.
It does not get you through heartache or hardships.

It is cold and cruel.
It is dark and ugly.
It is painful and it is awful.
It is haunting and it rips you apart.
It breaks you and it destroys you.

It is unfair and yet it is wanted.
It is desired and needed.
But love does not heal.

Love is the biggest lie of all.
Love is hate.

Milky

tears dont fall bullet for my valentine

Let's go

With blood shot eyes I watch you sleeping
The warmth I feel beside me is slowly fading
Would she hear me if I called her name?
Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

There's always something different going wrong
The path I walk is in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me make things better?

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, the guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, the guilty to come home

The moments die, I hear no screaming
The visions left inside me are slowly fading
Would she hear me if I called her name?
Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

There's always something different going wrong
The path I walk is in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me make things better?
( From: http://www.elyrics.net )

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, the guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, the guilty to come home

Ow yeah

This battered room I've seen before
The broken bones they heal no more, no more
With my last breath I'm choking
Will this ever end? I'm hoping
My world is over one more time

Let's go

Would she hear me if I called her name?
Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

There's always something different going wrong
The path I walk is in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me make things better?

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, the guilty to come home
Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, the guilty to come

Better

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me
Her conscious calls, the guilty to come home

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sTQ0QdkN3Q

Depression

I always thought that maybe one day it would just be gone but that is to easy. Instead it consumes me more each day. I want to squeeze the life out of it so that I am not hurting so much all the time.

Each day that I get closer to that awful day of saying goodbye is ripping me apart. Why does it still hurt so much? Should I not be over it, over you? This last week I have been crying nor stop and my anxiety is awful.

I am missing you. I am the laughter and how we would make each laugh when we were being goofing. I miss the compassion we had for each when we were sad. I miss being able to turn to you and know you were on my side.

Now, there is nothing and I am so alone. I have no purpose in life and each day is filled with heartache and more loss. I am no one and I am not noticed by anyone. I am not loved or missed or needed or wanted.

I do not know if I can hold on, anymore. I just do not know what to do.

Milky

© Barbara Ann Rogers

My Little Butterfly

Today a little butterfly flew by me. 

I thought to myself where have you been little butterfly.
You come into this world as a cocoon all by yourself and blossom into
this beautiful butterfly and fly off to see the world.
What you don’t realize little butterfly as you flutter through your days
is how you touch those around you in your soft gentle way.
You don’t even realize the wonder and awe you create around you.
she fluttered her wings toward me as if she was waving good-by as she
headed towards the horizon.
She looked very happy and content as she went on her way, as if to say
to me “Don’t worry I’ll be okay”.
I was sad to see her go for she had touched my heart in such a way that
I knew my life would never be the same.
She had left an imprint of all the beauty life has to offer.
I knew each time I looked at another butterfly or horizon I would
remember our moment in time when it was only her and I.
I knew I would be a better person all because this little butterfly flew by
me one bright sunny day.

Heart Breaking Lost

When I woke up the other and turned the television on I was both sadden and pissed off. The Newtown shooting was a shock and seeing the news was unbelievable. I hate watching the new and learning of heart breaking news is a big reason why. 

The lost that those families are going through is awful. No one could even understand what they are going through if they have not been through it themselves. Coming to terms and coping will not come easily and it may never come. 

The adults knew and could understand what was happening but those poor children - they were to young to understand. What could they have been thinking. Just thinking about it makes me cry.

I feel sick knowing what those parents went through when they went to get their children and were told that their children were gone. It is heart breaking and there really is nothing that can be said to make those families feel better because the lights of the lives are gone. Picking up the broken pieces will be even harder and my hope is that they grab hold of any hope they have deep inside of them. I hope and wish them peace.

Milky

love is strange - Koop

Strange love, even though you hurt me I feel blessed love
Baby I'm your puppet on a string
Making me tumble and swing
Trouble's what you bring
Strange love, strange love
Strange how, you control my every little move now
Hanging from your strings is all I know
Starring in your puppet show
Never let me go, strange love
All the things you've said and done
There's no space for me to run
Baby I've lost and you have won
'Cause' all I really want is
Strange love, even though you hurt me I feel blessed love
Baby I'm your puppet on a string
Making me tumble and swing
Trouble's what you bring, strange loveStrange love, strange love


Read more: KOOP - STRANGE LOVE LYRICS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_aF1e6wcCY

NO | The Long Haul

We'll be fine I'm sure
Just use the other door
I wanna have house like they did

We wrestle till we cry
They fucked our state of mind
Don't celebrate me because I'm jaded

Welcome to the storm
We're babies till we're born
Then adults from our first day breathing

Our innocence was staged
The jewellery all got paid
I'd lock it but it's not worth stealing

When the drunks start singing this way
Babies got the best dress stained
I hope you got a minute
Hope you want me in it
For the long haul
All night long

We'll be fine I'm told
Together we'll grow old
So kiss me till the last train leaving
Then stand yourself by me
We'll fall until we're free
This helium prefers no ceiling

When the drunks start singing this way
Babies got the best dress stained
I hope you got a minute
Hope you want me in it
For the long haul
All night long

It must get better than this
Cause as far as I can see
The world belongs to me
There's a place at your table with my name on

When we walk
They roll the carpet out at our feet
And when we talk
They gather around in chairs on the street
Cause we're the kings of imagining things

When the drunks start singing this way
Babies got her best dress stained
I hope you got a minute
Hope you want me in it
For the long haul
All night long

When the drunks start singing this way
Babies got her best dress stained
Hope you got a minute
Hope you want me in it
For the long haul
All night long

We'll be fine I'm sure
Just use the other door
I wanna have house like they did

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeFkqRL186w
Read more at http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107859442457/?specific_com=73016180110#ZVHqP72bH5JrJyQe.99

Eat Savvy From Savvy Mom

All recipes and photographs (Holly Sisson & Unknown) are from Savvy Mom .ca

http://www.savvymom.ca/index.php/guides/eatsavvy-holiday-entertaining/1

Pomegranate and Prosecco Punch

Makes 1 drink

You'll Need

• 1½ oz Grand Marnier
• 6 oz pomegranate juice
• Prosecco
• Ice
• Orange slices

Prep and Cook

1. Fill a glass halfway with ice. Pour in the Grand Marnier and pomegranate juice and top with prosecco until the glass is full or to taste.
2. To serve, garnish with a slice of orange.

Good to Know: The recipe can be doubled or tripled accordingly. To make a non-alcoholic version, replace the Grand Marnier with orange juice and the prosecco with sparkling or soda water.

Eggnog Cocktail

Makes 2 drinks

You'll Need

• 6 oz eggnog
• 1½ oz bourbon or whiskey
• 1 tsp vanilla
• Ice
• Fresh grated nutmeg

Prep and Cook

1. Combine the eggnog, bourbon, vanilla and ice in a cocktail shaker, and shake until thick and frothy.
2. Strain into chilled tumblers and garnish with fresh grated nutmeg on top. 

Crostini with White Bean Rosemary Spread

Makes about 20 pieces

You'll Need

• 1 15 oz can navy beans, drained and rinsed
• 1½ Tbsp lemon juice
• 2 cloves garlic
• ⅔ cup + 2 Tbsp olive oil
• ⅓ cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 Tbsp chopped fresh rosemary
• 1 tsp salt
• ½ tsp fresh ground pepper
• 1 baguette cut into ½ inch slices
• Optional toppings: chopped sundried tomatoes, sliced green onions, fresh rosemary

Prep and Cook

1. Combine the beans, lemon juice, garlic, ⅔ cup olive oil, Parmesan cheese, rosemary, salt and pepper in the bowl of a food processor and pulse until completely pureed. Adjust the seasonings if necessary and set aside.
2. Preheat the oven to 425°F. Brush the baguette pieces with the remaining olive oil and place them on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Bake for 8 minutes or until golden brown and crisp.
3. Remove the bread from the oven and cover each piece with the white bean spread. Top with suggested garnishes and serve.

Good to Know: The bread can be toasted up to 5 hours in advance and served at room temperature. 

Winter Citrus Quinoa Salad

Serves 4–6

You'll Need

• 1 cup quinoa
• 2 cups water
• ½ sweet red pepper, chopped fine
• 1 orange, cut into segments
• 1 grapefruit, cut into segments
• ¼ cup dried cranberries
• ¼ cup feta cheese, crumbled
• ¼ red onion, thinly sliced
• Handful of fresh cilantro, chopped
• 1 Tbsp olive oil
• 2 Tbsp orange juice
• 1 Tbsp rice vinegar
• ¼ cup pistachios/slivered almonds, toasted (optional)
• Salt and pepper to taste

Prep and Cook

1. In a strainer, rinse quinoa under running water and drain thoroughly.
2. Place quinoa, water and salt in a medium-sized saucepan and bring to a boil.
3. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for approximately 15 minutes (or until the water is absorbed and quinoa is tender).
4. Remove pot from the heat, fluff with a fork, and bring to room temperature.
5. Place the cooled quinoa in a large bowl.
6. Add fruit, vegetables, feta and nuts to the quinoa.
7. For dressing, whisk olive oil, orange juice, and rice vinegar together in a small mixing bowl.
8. Add dressing to the salad and toss gently, until just combined.
9. Season with salt and pepper.
10. Cover and chill until ready to serve.

Good to Know: This salad can be made a day ahead, it travels well, and will last 3 days refrigerated. Before cooking quinoa, the seeds must be rinsed to remove the saponin, a bitter resin-like coating. Make this 15-Minute Meal with the leftover quinoa from the Family Meal.

Squash and Apple Soup

Serves 6–8

You'll Need

• 2 (3–4lb) butternut squash
• 2 Tbsp vegetable oil
• 1 tsp Kosher salt
• ½ tsp freshly ground pepper
• 2 Tbsp butter
• 1 yellow onion, chopped
• 1 apple, cored and diced
• ½ tsp ground nutmeg
• 1 tsp curry powder
• 6 cups low-sodium vegetable or chicken broth
• ½ cup apple juice
• ¾ cup cream (optional)
• 2 Tbsp maple syrup

Prep and Cook

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Peel, seed and chop butternut squash into 1-inch cubes.
3. Place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
4. Drizzle with olive oil, salt and pepper, tossing to coat.
5. Roast for approximately 25 minutes, tossing once in between.
6. Meanwhile, in a large soup pot or Dutch Oven, sauté onion apple, nutmeg and curry in butter over medium-high heat until soft.
7. Add cooked squash, chicken broth and apple juice to the pot and bring to a boil.
8. Reduce heat to medium and simmer for 20 minutes.
9. Using a hand blender, food processor or potato masher, blend or puree soup to a desired consistency.
10. Add more broth to thin out if necessary.
11. When ready to serve, add cream (if using) and reheat soup in the pot over low heat. (Do not let soup boil after cream is added.)
12. Divide the soup into bowls, sprinkle with bacon bits, fresh herbs or a drizzle of maple syrup.

Good to Know: Substitute acorn squash for butternut, but double the number of squash as they are smaller. If freezing squash and apple soup, omit cream before freezing and add after the soup has thawed.

Vanilla and Cinnamon Poached Pears

Serves 4

You'll Need

• 4 firm, medium-size pears with stems (Bosc or Bartlett), peeled
• 1 bottle robust red wine (Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Pinot Noir)
• ½ cup sugar
• 1 vanilla bean, cut in half and scraped
• 1 stick cinnamon
• Peel of one orange
• Peel of one lemon
• 2 whole cloves
• 2 cups vanilla ice cream or yogurt

Prep and Cook

1. Place pears in medium saucepan. Start poaching the liquid by adding all ingredients to the pot and enough water to cover pears.
2. Set saucepan over high heat and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer and cook, occasionally turning pears to cook evenly (approximately 15 min) or until pears pierce easily with knife.
3. Remove pan from heat and let cool.
4. Transfer pears to a plate. Pour poaching liquid through sieve, over a bowl. Discard solids and return liquid to saucepan.
5. Place saucepan over medium-high heat and cook until liquid has been reduced to a syrup (about 45 min). Let cool. Refrigerate poaching liquid and pears separately.
6. Arrange pears on plates and drizzle with poaching liquid.

Good to Know: Cooking time will vary according to the ripeness of the pears. You can substitute red wine with apple cider. Serve at room temperature with vanilla ice cream.

Millionaire’s Shortbread

Makes 64 bite-sized squares

You'll Need

For the Base

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup butter
• ⅓ cup sugar
• ½ tsp fine salt

For the Caramel

• 1 can sweetened condensed milk
• 1 cup butter
• 1 cup sugar
• ½ tsp vanilla extract

For the Topping

• 8 oz chocolate chips
• 2 Tbsp butter

Prep and Cook

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F and butter an 8” x 8” baking pan. Line the baking pan with a sheet of parchment paper that is long enough to hang over the edges of the pan.
2. With an electric or hand-held mixer, beat the butter for 1 minute. Add the sugar, and mix for 3–5 minutes until thick and fluffy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, add the flour and salt and beat until just combined.
3. Press the dough into the prepared pan and prick with a fork at even intervals over the surface. Bake for 20 minutes.
4. While the shortbread bakes, combine the sweetened condensed milk, butter, sugar and vanilla in a medium saucepan set over medium heat. Bring it to a boil, stirring continuously, and cook until the caramel turns golden brown.
5. Pour the cooked caramel over the baked shortbread and allow it to set at room temperature for 1–2 hours.
6. Melt the chocolate and butter in a microwave (or heat-proof bowl set over simmering water) and stir to combine. Spread the chocolate evenly over the caramel and let set at room temperature.
7. Remove the bars from the pan and cut into bite-sized squares.

Good to Know: To create clean edges when cutting, dip your knife into a glass of hot water, wipe it dry with a clean kitchen cloth and then cut. The warm but dry knife blade is more effective.

Double Chocolate Candy Cane Bark

Makes 32, 2” squares

You'll Need

• 10 oz milk (or dark) chocolate
• ½ tsp peppermint extract
• 10 oz white chocolate
• ½ cup crushed candy canes

Prep and Cook

1. Spray an 8” x 8” baking pan with non-stick spray and line it with a piece of plastic wrap, letting the ends hang over the edge.
2. Combine the milk chocolate and peppermint extract in a microwaveable bowl (or heatproof bowl set over simmering water) and heat in 20-second intervals on medium power until melted.
3. Pour the chocolate into the baking dish, spreading it evenly to the edges with a spatula. Place the dish in the fridge until the chocolate is completely set.
4. Meanwhile, melt the white chocolate using the same method as above. Pour it over the set milk chocolate and scatter the crushed candy canes over the top. Allow it to set at room temperature.
5. Using the plastic wrap to lift, remove the chocolate bark from the baking dish and cut it into 2” squares.