(forget)

Yesterday was awful for me and today is not much better. I was at the hospital being treated for dehydration and sleep deprivation. I am definitely not okay and that was more clear when I lost your voice message.

the pain inside is so unreal and after all this time I would have never guessed it would hurt this much. But I was wrong and clearly not over you. I do not know what to do about it. How do I stop feeling this way? About you? How do I just let go? It is crazy, I am crazy for allowing myself to feel like this. I hate it.

I want to forget and at the same time I do not. I guess the pain is a reminder of what and how things were. Bad and good. Wrong or right is was there.

I have excepted that you are gone and will never return to my world and that I to get passed all of this but it is so hard. Yesterday showed me just how hard it truly was. The hole inside me is now ten times deeper and bigger.

I just want to go home, hide under the blankets and sleep. (forget)

Milky