I always thought that maybe one day it would just be gone but that is to easy. Instead it consumes me more each day. I want to squeeze the life out of it so that I am not hurting so much all the time.
Each day that I get closer to that awful day of saying goodbye is ripping me apart. Why does it still hurt so much? Should I not be over it, over you? This last week I have been crying nor stop and my anxiety is awful.
I am missing you. I am the laughter and how we would make each laugh when we were being goofing. I miss the compassion we had for each when we were sad. I miss being able to turn to you and know you were on my side.
Now, there is nothing and I am so alone. I have no purpose in life and each day is filled with heartache and more loss. I am no one and I am not noticed by anyone. I am not loved or missed or needed or wanted.
I do not know if I can hold on, anymore. I just do not know what to do.
Milky
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