Better Sleep

Two days since I had the breakdown. I am both nervous and lost over it. Nervous because I do not know if I will make it through another year and lost because I am still sick, alone and missing you.

I thought that by now it would not hurt as much but I am wrong it still hurts. I still cannot breathe easily and the hole in my chest has not closed up. It is still as awful as ever and I hate the feeling because it worries me that I will never get over you.

I just want things to get better, when will it be better? 

I want to sleep and really sleep. The kind of sleep that when you wake up in the morning you feel rested, alive and you jump up to get your day started with a smile or singing in the shower or just looking forward to what the day has to offer. That kind of sleep, the best kind of sleep.

MIlky