into nothing each passing day. It seem like no matter how much I change for the better or even feel better for a minute, I am kicked to the ground. Games and lies live on through the people you would tell the truth but that is not the case. I hate that there have been times that I have fallen into the traps and webs of lies. It makes me sick knowing that I cannot get away from this. All I ever wish for is peace. Peace of mind to know what is happening in my own life. But that is something I will never know because I am just another puppet.
In the beginning I believe and trusted but what a foolish girl I was, am. I mean after 20 years of nonsense you would think that all the signs would just hit me in the forehead and (WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? YOU ARE SMARTER THEN THIS SHIT!) But instead I keep putting myself down and now just believe I earn this life and it is my punishment for all of the mistakes I had made in my life.
I daydream now and again, wondering where I would be now if only I took another path? Would life be better or worse? I wish I knew.
Another wasted day and night being unhappy and foolish tears cry with the thought of knowing this is my life. What a bloody mess!
Milky
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