Penitents

I guess in a way my writing is my penitents for my past. Most of the things I write is random thoughts. I am not good at talking to others face to face so I put down on paper or in this case type words on a computer. Either way it is out and in the open.

Just talk! That is what I am suppose to do and it is suppose to work, along with breathing exercises. Which to be honest does not work. Not for me, anyway. I sit in a room for an hour not saying anyway. Even to this day I do not understand why I bother to go. The person who is suppose to listen gets paid to sit there! Talking or not! What a job. I mean I must be the easiest no head person in his life.

I have all these thoughts in my head but voicing them seems stupid, weak and of no importance to others. So, really what is the point?

I am a negative person and I only see the bad in myself and in others. There are a few people in my life that I trust but it is no where being enough.

Good people exist? I was one of them but now I am not. I think all the darkest and loneliness has taken over. All the bad things in my life has definitely taken over a huge part of my life. I do not know how to get pass all this stuff.

My penitents holding onto the bad and not letting any good into my life. 

Milky