Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Chaos
Loyalties forge in apprehension and mistrust. Pretending at best. Easily broken when held up to the unforgiving light of the truth. But in the darkness of our most desperate hours, it is often these loyalties that lend us the strength to do what we know must be done. A conflicted heart feeds on doubt and confusion and it will make you question your path, your tackives and your motives, and you stare ahead in darkness is all you see, only reason and determination can pull you back from the abyss.
Cooking Library
I have over 100 perhaps 200 cookbooks that I have taken the time to cook from. Of course it is impossible to have each and every item cooked, from each book but I am sure having fun trying.
It is always nice to cook for family, friends and really anyone willing to be my test taster. It is also a lot of fun when we can get together and cook together.
There is someone special about sharing the kitchen with people you like and people who have the guts to try new food from different cultures.
Discover a new world and cook! Have fun with it and enjoy everyone!
Milky
Doctor's Appointment...
Okay, I had another appointment today and I have to say - it was crap! Just more drugs that do nothing for you. I still miss sleep and I am going on 72 hours without sleep. I would really like to sleep, again. Just for 5 hours, that is all.
I am really starting to think that I will never get any answers and that these doctor's are nuts! I am just saying, if you have found a great doctor or supporter, you are one of the lucky ones.
I just want something to go right. I have people in my life that are right, who are great and I am grateful because that part of me is healing. But the other part is hurting, is crying and I am dying inside with the struggles.
I am really starting to think that I will never get any answers and that these doctor's are nuts! I am just saying, if you have found a great doctor or supporter, you are one of the lucky ones.I just want something to go right. I have people in my life that are right, who are great and I am grateful because that part of me is healing. But the other part is hurting, is crying and I am dying inside with the struggles.
Milky
Smile
Perhaps, you will go to a movie with friends, take a picture of a beautiful building, or you may stay up talking and laughing with someone special.
These people who are around know you well enough to know that you may not be alright but they also know - wait! They believe you WILL be okay, one day soon.
It just takes a small thing to make you smile, just smile and feel okay about it. It is only a smile and it will do you so much good.
Thank you for making me smile, again.
Milky
Fish-ful Thinking
It is the crack of dawn "it is time to going fishing" the cottage is filled with moonlight. The smell of rustic outdoors is in the air and a cold crisp breeze blows the wind gentle through the trees. The coffee is brewing, the bacon is sizzle, the toast is popping and there are eggs over easy frying.
Brush your teeth and put on your warm clothes, take seat, enjoy breakfast and watch the horizon as it brightens your day. Get your gear, load your snow mobile, and make your way to the lake.
You can feel the excitement fill your belly as you begin the start a new day. You take a moment to enjoy your surroundings, the snow flows across the lake over the ice and below the ice the water seats perfectly still as if it is frozen in time. The crisp air is gentle and refreshing on your face. The peace you feel is calming and all your worries begin to fade away. The sun begins to peak through the trees just before it comes racing across the lake and it kisses your face with warmth.
Drills the holes into the ice, remove the slash from the holes. Unpack your gear, bait your fishing lines and descend your presentation to the bottom of the lake, with thoughts of what you are hoping to catch.
It is at that point that you have lost track of society and have found your inner peace. Your mind is empty with no cares in the world. You await the first bite with the patience that fishing demands. You may get your catch or you may not but at least you are in the outdoors doing what you love, as you thrive in your element.
It is countless days spent on the water that makes this person a fishing machine, with the eagerness to teach others how to catch more fish. So, if you are ready to become a better angler join this fellow on his quest for the next bite...
There are many who have a natural gift to fish. They clearly have a deep love and passion for fishing. For some, they learn the art of fishing from someone they love. A father, A grandfather, perhaps a uncle or a brother, it is a special gift and it is a bond that families hand down through generations. Some bonds are built between a father and son, strong values are learn and a great happiness has filled their hearts. That is a greater love and the greatest gift that anyone could provide for another.
You love fishing with someone by your side but you are just as happy to go solo and control the experience from route to release. You have a fire burning in yourself that should never be and cannot be put out. It is another kind of love but it is one of your loves.
Brush your teeth and put on your warm clothes, take seat, enjoy breakfast and watch the horizon as it brightens your day. Get your gear, load your snow mobile, and make your way to the lake.
It is at that point that you have lost track of society and have found your inner peace. Your mind is empty with no cares in the world. You await the first bite with the patience that fishing demands. You may get your catch or you may not but at least you are in the outdoors doing what you love, as you thrive in your element.
It is countless days spent on the water that makes this person a fishing machine, with the eagerness to teach others how to catch more fish. So, if you are ready to become a better angler join this fellow on his quest for the next bite...
There are many who have a natural gift to fish. They clearly have a deep love and passion for fishing. For some, they learn the art of fishing from someone they love. A father, A grandfather, perhaps a uncle or a brother, it is a special gift and it is a bond that families hand down through generations. Some bonds are built between a father and son, strong values are learn and a great happiness has filled their hearts. That is a greater love and the greatest gift that anyone could provide for another.
You love fishing with someone by your side but you are just as happy to go solo and control the experience from route to release. You have a fire burning in yourself that should never be and cannot be put out. It is another kind of love but it is one of your loves.
Milky and BMR
Why do you cook?
Someone once asked me 'why do you cook? Why teach me?' For me it is simple. I cook or bake because it is a gate way to comfort. It is not so much what you make but rather the time you put into it. The feelings you have while making it. I may be in a sad mood, a happy mood, it could be out of angry or even over tears.My point is this whatever your mood is the food with be whatever you create.
It could really be the best thing you ever made and your family and friends will
think you to be a master chef in their presents! Or it could really taste awful but no one has the heart to tell you that your pizza sauce was not cook but hey! They ate it any ways. Afterall, like my grandfather would say "you'll eat anything when you're hungry." but what he was really telling me was 'I love that you tried'The things that bring people together usually has lots of food near by. Great
company and so much laughter. Food is comfort
Portuguese Pasteis de Nata
The secrets to a crispy, flaky pastry is to make sure the butter is evenly layered, all excess flour is removed, and the dough is rolled very thin and folded neatly. You will need a thermometer to accurately gauge the custard. These are best eaten warm the day they’re made.
Note: Because home ovens can’t match the heat of those at the Antiga Confeitaria de Belém, where these treats were first made, your pasteis may not brown as much as those in the picture.–David Leite
Active time: 1 hour | Total time: 2 hours, 30 minutes.
Portuguese Pasteis de Nata Recipe
Ingredients
| metric conversion
For the dough
- 2 cups minus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 1/4 teaspoon sea salt
- 3/4 cup plus two tablespoons water
- 16 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature, stirred until smooth
For the custard
- 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 1 1/4 cups milk, divided
- 1 1/3 cups granulated sugar
- 1 cinnamon stick
- 2/3 cup water
- 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 6 large egg yolks, whisked
- Powdered sugar
- Cinnamon
Directions
Make the dough
1. In a stand mixer fitted with a dough hook, mix the flour, salt, and water until a soft, pillowy dough forms that cleans the side of the bowl, about 30 seconds.
2. Generously flour a work surface and pat the dough into a 6-inch square using a pastry scraper as a guide. Flour the dough, cover with plastic wrap, and let it rest for 15 minutes.
3. Roll the dough into an 18-inch square. As you work, use the scraper to lift the dough to make sure the underside isn’t sticking.
4. Brush excess flour off the top, trim any uneven edges, and using a small offset spatula dot and then spread the left two-thirds of the dough with a little less than one-third of the butter to within 1 inch of the edge.
5. Neatly fold over the unbuttered right third of the dough (using the pastry scraper to loosen it if it sticks), brush off any excess flour, then fold over the left third. Starting from the top, pat down the packet with your hand to release air bubbles, then pinch the edges closed. Brush off any excess flour.
6. Turn the dough packet 90 degrees to the left so the fold is facing you. Lift the packet and flour the work surface. Once again roll out to an 18-inch square, then dot and spread the left two-thirds of the dough with one-third of the butter, and fold the dough as in steps 4 and 5.
7. For the last rolling, turn the packet 90 degrees to the left and roll out the dough to an 18-by-21-inch rectangle, with the shorter side facing you. Spread the remaining butter over the entire surface.
8. Using the spatula as an aid, lift the edge closest to you and roll the dough away from you into a tight log, brushing the excess flour from the underside as you go. Trim the ends and cut the log in half. Wrap each piece in plastic wrap and chill for 2 hours or preferably overnight.
10. Bring the sugar, cinnamon, and water to a boil in a small saucepan and cook until an instant-read thermometer registers 220°F (100°C). Do not stir.
11. Meanwhile, in another small saucepan, scald the remaining 1 cup milk. Whisk the hot milk into the flour mixture.
12. Remove the cinnamon stick then pour the sugar syrup in a thin stream into the hot milk-and-flour mixture, whisking briskly. Add the vanilla and stir for a minute until very warm but not hot. Whisk in the yolks, strain the mixture into a bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and set aside.
14. Have a small cup of water nearby. Dip your thumbs into the water, then straight down into the middle of the dough spiral. Flatten it against the bottom of the cup to a thickness of about 1/8 inch, then smooth the dough up the sides and create a raised lip about 1/8 inch above the pan. The pastry sides should be thinner than the bottom.
15. Fill each cup 3/4 full with the slightly warm custard. Bake the pasteis until the edges of the dough are frilled and brown, about 8 to 9 minutes.
16. Remove from the oven and allow the pasteis to cool a few minutes in the pan, then transfer to a rack and cool until just warm. Sprinkle the pasteis generously with powdered sugar, then cinnamon and serve. Repeat with the remaining pastry and custard. If you prefer, the components can be refrigerated up to three days. The pastry can be frozen up to three months.
2. Generously flour a work surface and pat the dough into a 6-inch square using a pastry scraper as a guide. Flour the dough, cover with plastic wrap, and let it rest for 15 minutes.
3. Roll the dough into an 18-inch square. As you work, use the scraper to lift the dough to make sure the underside isn’t sticking.
4. Brush excess flour off the top, trim any uneven edges, and using a small offset spatula dot and then spread the left two-thirds of the dough with a little less than one-third of the butter to within 1 inch of the edge.
5. Neatly fold over the unbuttered right third of the dough (using the pastry scraper to loosen it if it sticks), brush off any excess flour, then fold over the left third. Starting from the top, pat down the packet with your hand to release air bubbles, then pinch the edges closed. Brush off any excess flour.
6. Turn the dough packet 90 degrees to the left so the fold is facing you. Lift the packet and flour the work surface. Once again roll out to an 18-inch square, then dot and spread the left two-thirds of the dough with one-third of the butter, and fold the dough as in steps 4 and 5.
7. For the last rolling, turn the packet 90 degrees to the left and roll out the dough to an 18-by-21-inch rectangle, with the shorter side facing you. Spread the remaining butter over the entire surface.
8. Using the spatula as an aid, lift the edge closest to you and roll the dough away from you into a tight log, brushing the excess flour from the underside as you go. Trim the ends and cut the log in half. Wrap each piece in plastic wrap and chill for 2 hours or preferably overnight.
Make the custard
9. In a medium bowl, whisk the flour and 1/4 cup of the milk until smooth. Set aside. 10. Bring the sugar, cinnamon, and water to a boil in a small saucepan and cook until an instant-read thermometer registers 220°F (100°C). Do not stir.
11. Meanwhile, in another small saucepan, scald the remaining 1 cup milk. Whisk the hot milk into the flour mixture.
12. Remove the cinnamon stick then pour the sugar syrup in a thin stream into the hot milk-and-flour mixture, whisking briskly. Add the vanilla and stir for a minute until very warm but not hot. Whisk in the yolks, strain the mixture into a bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and set aside.
Assemble and bake the pastries
13. Heat the oven to 550°F (290°C). Remove a pastry log from the refrigerator and roll it back and forth on a lightly floured surface until it’s about an inch in diameter and 16 inches long. Cut it into scant 3/4-inch pieces. Place a piece cut-side down in each well of a nonstick 12-cup mini-muffin pan (2-by-5/8-inch size). Allow the dough pieces to soften several minutes until pliable. 14. Have a small cup of water nearby. Dip your thumbs into the water, then straight down into the middle of the dough spiral. Flatten it against the bottom of the cup to a thickness of about 1/8 inch, then smooth the dough up the sides and create a raised lip about 1/8 inch above the pan. The pastry sides should be thinner than the bottom.
15. Fill each cup 3/4 full with the slightly warm custard. Bake the pasteis until the edges of the dough are frilled and brown, about 8 to 9 minutes.
16. Remove from the oven and allow the pasteis to cool a few minutes in the pan, then transfer to a rack and cool until just warm. Sprinkle the pasteis generously with powdered sugar, then cinnamon and serve. Repeat with the remaining pastry and custard. If you prefer, the components can be refrigerated up to three days. The pastry can be frozen up to three months.
Red Velvet CupCakes
Ingredients
Cupcakes1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa
3 tablespoons red food color
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup Sugar In The Raw®
4 egg yolks
3 egg whites
1 cup low fat buttermilk
1/2 teaspoon salt
15 packets Stevia Extract In The Raw
2 1/4 cups sifted cake flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons white vinegar
2 1/4 cups Cream Cheese Frosting
Cream Cheese Frosting 2 (8 ounce) packages reduced fat cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
10 packets Stevia Extract In The Raw
1/4 cup 1% low fat milk
Instructions
Cupcakes
Preheat oven to 350°F.
In small bowl combine cocoa, red food color and vanilla, set aside.
In large bowl beat together butter and Sugar In The Raw. Add yolks one at a time and beat well after each addition. Add cocoa mixture and blend well.
In another bowl, beat egg whites until stiff peaks form, set aside. Combine buttermilk with salt. Combine Stevia Extract In The Raw, cayenne pepper and baking powder with cake flour. Add buttermilk mixture and flour mixture to cocoa mixture, alternating a third at a time beating after each addition. Combine baking soda and vinegar then add to batter and blend well. Fold in egg whites.
Fill each heart shape silicone baking cup 2/3 full with batter. Arrange cups on 2 baking sheets lined with parchment paper and bake 13-15 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Remove from oven and let cool 5-10 minutes before removing from baking cup. Cool cupcakes on rack before frosting.
Note: If heart shape silicone cups are not available, muffin pans can be used.
Cream Cheese Frosting
In a medium bowl combine all ingredients and blend well. Makes enough frosting for 36 cupcakes.
Preheat oven to 350°F.
In small bowl combine cocoa, red food color and vanilla, set aside.
In large bowl beat together butter and Sugar In The Raw. Add yolks one at a time and beat well after each addition. Add cocoa mixture and blend well.
In another bowl, beat egg whites until stiff peaks form, set aside. Combine buttermilk with salt. Combine Stevia Extract In The Raw, cayenne pepper and baking powder with cake flour. Add buttermilk mixture and flour mixture to cocoa mixture, alternating a third at a time beating after each addition. Combine baking soda and vinegar then add to batter and blend well. Fold in egg whites.
Fill each heart shape silicone baking cup 2/3 full with batter. Arrange cups on 2 baking sheets lined with parchment paper and bake 13-15 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Remove from oven and let cool 5-10 minutes before removing from baking cup. Cool cupcakes on rack before frosting.
Note: If heart shape silicone cups are not available, muffin pans can be used.
Cream Cheese Frosting
In a medium bowl combine all ingredients and blend well. Makes enough frosting for 36 cupcakes.
The Proposal
He came to her on bended knee,
with one sunflower, one white tulip, one purple orchid and a ring
He asked her "will you marry me?"
She said "yes, I will - I love you."
Moneypenny
Tuesday, 28 February 2012
Friendship
THE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP
A heavy burden is placed on friendship. We turn to friends for our happiness. Some say they trust friends more than family. And there are those who want to marry their best friend – a very novel idea. Then, in the networked age, we believe, or hope, that friendship is elastic enough to connect us across the web of complex lives, and strong enough not to snap. But is it? For whilst friendship offers much, few ask about its perils and limitations, as well as its promise.Mark Vernon examines the love shared by friends, linking the rich insights of the great philosophers of friendship with numerous illustrations from modern life to ask about friendship and sex, friends at work, the politics of friendship, and its spirituality. In this new version of his book, previously published as The Philosophy of Friendship, he explores how notions of friendship may be changing because of the internet. He also has a new chapter on self-help and friendship, challenging notions of friendship that arise from evolution and psychology.
PRAISE
‘In secular, consuming society nothing is more urgently needed than a cogent, passionate justification of those values we hold most dear in spite of everything. Mark Vernon passionately justifies friendship as a value lying at the very heart of what we are. This is a book that will make you feel better about being human.’Bryan Appleyard
‘Mark Vernon’s book will change the way you think about the people you see every day – at work, in your street, in the pub, at home. He helps us to appreciate and to nourish many different kinds of friendship.’
Sophie Howarth, The School of Life
‘A history of the idea of friendship through the works of various thinkers from Plato to Nietzsche. It’s genuinely useful, lucid, informative and wise.’
Mark Simpson, The Independent, Books of the Year
‘A wonderfully thoughtful and timely reflection on the importance of friendship in helping us become honest, courageous and wise.’
Stuart Jeffries, The Guardian
"Friends are special people.
If you are a friend, it means you were chosen. You are not in someone's life by
happenstance, or by accident of birth. You're in someone's life because he or
she wants you there."
"Every friend is a gift from God. Treat each of your
friends as the gift he or she is."
Speed Bumps
Life is fill of speed bumps and it is up to us to fine a way around them. "There are no mistakes, only lessons" because mistakes bring us to where we are in life, now. So, we have to learn from them and move on.
"Not to brood over your past mistakes and failures as will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future."
Milky
tHis MEANS WaR
This is a funny a** movie! A must see! If you are in need for a laugh, this one will do the job. I laugh all through this movie.
Cast - Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine and Tom Hardy
CIA agents and best friends FDR Foster and Tuck Henson are deployed to Hong Kong to prevent international criminal Heinrich from acquiring a weapon of mass destruction, but the mission goes awry, resulting in the death of Heinrich's brother Jonas and Heinrich swearing revenge against them. For their protection, their boss, Collins, assigns them to desk duty upon returning to America.
FDR is a womanizer, whose cover is that he's a cruise ship captain, while Tuck, who presents himself as a travel agent, has an ex-wife, Katie, and a son, Joe. After seeing a commercial for online dating, Tuck decides to sign himself up and is paired with Lauren Scott, a product testing executive who's dealing with the recent engagement of her ex-boyfriend. Her best friend, Trish, has signed her up for the same online dating site. FDR insists on being Tuck's backup for the date and hides nearby, but Tuck & Lauren hit it off.
Shortly thereafter, FDR runs into Lauren at a video store and tries to flirt with her, not knowing she's Tuck's date, but she notices that he's a ladies' man and ignores him. Intrigued, FDR crashes into one of Lauren's test groups and persuades her to go on a date with him, where they also enjoy themselves. Lauren feels guilty about dating two men at the same time, but is persuaded by Trish to make the best of the situation.
FDR and Tuck soon discover that they're seeing the same woman and decide not to tell her that they know each other, to interfere with each others' dates, nor have sex with her and let her come a decision between them. However, they soon break their rules and use CIA technology to spy on her and discover her preferences, as well as try to sabotage one another. FDR and Lauren eventually have sex, and Tuck and Lauren nearly do as well, before Lauren interrupts it, feeling bad about herself.
One day, Lauren invites Tuck to lunch, while FDR discovers that Heinrich has come to America to get revenge against them. He interrupts Lauren's date with Tuck to warn him, but Tuck doesn't believe him and they get into a fight, during which Lauren discovers that they're friends and decides to leave alone with Trish. At that moment, they are captured by Heinrich and his men, who are pursued by FDR and Tuck.
FDR and Tuck rescue Lauren and Trish after a car chase, in which they reveal that they are CIA agents and, on Lauren's advice, shoot the headlights on Heinrich's car, deploying the airbags and sending Heinrich's car spiraling out of control. FDR and Tuck, on different sides of the road, urge Lauren to come to their side, and she ultimately choses FDR as Heinrich dies when his car swerves off the bridge and crashes below. Lauren decides to be with FDR, and Tuck makes amends with him. Tuck soon reconciles with Katie and they get married once more.
Shortly thereafter, FDR and Tuck are about to parachute out of a cargo plane when FDR reveals that he'll marry Lauren, and also that he had sex with Katie before she met Tuck, and no longer feels guilty about it because Tuck had sex with Lauren. Tuck, however, reveals that they didn't go all the way and angrily tackles FDR out of the plane.
Milky
No Ordinary love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6DQavhJUrk
I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love, you took my love
Didn't I tell you what I believe
Somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give, baby
I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love, you took my love
I keep crying, I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I, baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
When you came my way
You brightened everyday
With your sweet smile
Didn't I tell you what I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give, baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
I keep crying, I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying I'm falling
I'm falling
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying I'm falling
I'm falling
I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love, you took my love
Didn't I tell you what I believe
Somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give, baby
I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love, you took my love
I keep crying, I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I, baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
When you came my way
You brightened everyday
With your sweet smile
Didn't I tell you what I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give, baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
I keep crying, I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying I'm falling
I'm falling
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying I'm falling
I'm falling
Flowing thoughts from mind to finger
My mind fills itself with so many thoughts. At times it is kind and filled with compassion, while other times it is filled with sadness and cruelness.
Some days I have nothing in to write down or perhaps it is I do not know how to put them into words and onto paper. So, I just can do it, do anything.
But on the days that I cannot help but spill everything that is in my heart and it does not matter if it is bad or good. What matters, is that I cannot hold it in anymore.
My fear though is that what I write or say with my written words is I may hurt others by doing so. Please know that it is not what I want to do. I am not trying to be cruel to you and I am not trying to hurt you. I only wish to make you understand or perhaps it is not for you to understand but rather for me to understand and accept what goes through my mind.
I cannot apologize for what goes through my mind and you taught me that writing things down is good.
Some days I have nothing in to write down or perhaps it is I do not know how to put them into words and onto paper. So, I just can do it, do anything.
But on the days that I cannot help but spill everything that is in my heart and it does not matter if it is bad or good. What matters, is that I cannot hold it in anymore.My fear though is that what I write or say with my written words is I may hurt others by doing so. Please know that it is not what I want to do. I am not trying to be cruel to you and I am not trying to hurt you. I only wish to make you understand or perhaps it is not for you to understand but rather for me to understand and accept what goes through my mind.
I cannot apologize for what goes through my mind and you taught me that writing things down is good.
Just when...
All of sudden you notice they way they look at you and things start to become clear in your mind. You ask yourself have they always look at you this way? How did you not notice it sooner? What do you do now?
After you ask yourself all these questions and really come up with no answers, perhaps in the end the answers do not matter. What really matters is what you feel right, now. You are faced with another choice and you can choose to give up, neglect what makes you feel okay, again or you can just let things be. Go with what has changed and just enjoy the moment.
Not everything in your life has to be bad, not everything has to be answered and you do not have to be in pain over the lost every single minute. The love and pain you feel for one person will always be within you and never forgotten but you have to learn how to move on, "love me, but let me go" set yourself free because the other person has.
You can breathe, again and maybe it still hurts inside (it really does) but having a few moments of relief is also good. Just breathe with the pain in your heart and breathe more with the new in your life.
"I free you of your guilt, do not give up willingly, choose life."
Milky
Sunday, 26 February 2012
One Step, with One Stranger
One stranger, you came out of no one where and now you are here. I am suppose to risk and trust myself with you. Tell you my secrets and my regrets but I am worried. How do I do this? You are not a doctor of any kind but I am told that you know what you are doing. I guess there are worse things to do. I mean - you have had to have heard it all, right? Oh, is this the right thing to be doing? I am not sure, I am not ready or maybe I am but it does scare me because you were not there and you do not know how hard it is for me to trust and put faith into someone.
So, how will this work. Do I sit? Lay down? Just talk, but NO - I cannot cry! No more tears, no more of showing that side of me. It hurts to much. You just listen and write, ask questions? How does that help? Will it help me to know? Know, what am I to learn from all of this?
Even, now! More - so many questions. Where do I start and how do I explain everything? I am so trapped and there is no trust, so will I ever be free from all of this? All the pain and give me peace? PEACE - awww... I want for so much peace.
One step, with one stranger...
Milky
I am bound to you
Sweet love, sweet love
Trapped in your love
I’ve opened up, unsure I can trust
My heart and I were buried in dust
Free me, free us
You’re all I need when I’m holding you tight
If you walk away I will suffer tonight
I found a man I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I’m bound in chains
I finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am bound to you
So much, so young
I’ve faced on my own
Walls I built up became my home
I’m strong and I’m sure there’s a fire in us
Sweet love, so pure
I catch my breath with just one beating heart
And I brace myself, please don’t tear this apart
http://www.hotnewsonglyrics.com/christina-aguilera-bound-to-you-lyrics.html
I found a man I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains
I finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am bound to
Suddenly the moment’s here
I embrace my fears
All that I have been carrying all these years
Do I risk it all
Come this far just to fall, fall
Oh, I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I’m bound in chains
And finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am,
Ooh, I am
I’m bound to you
A Travel Journal
All the grieving will still be there but allow yourself to have some good moments, you never know - perhaps some of those moments will be really great and truly take your mind off of the fears and bad feelings you have in your broken heart.
No one could ever replace what you had but you do not have to be alone and you do not have to hide yourself from what the world has to offer. Just let things happen to you and hope that time will heal your state of mind.
It does not have to be huge steps or even everyday but TRY to do something different. Change your own life, change your own story and write a new page.
You never know who will be there for you and you may never have anyone but you ARE strong and you will get up again. Do things with others or do not. Go explore on your own sometimes - you may surprise yourself.
We are forever changed by the people who come into our lives. It is what we have learned through them that may have given us strength - do not mock or neglect what they taught you or how they may have changed you for the good. NO! - EMBRACE IT and honour what they gave you.
See "Saturday Morning" Was not on my list but it was a step to something new.
To be continued...
Milky
PJ's Birthday Cake
theloadedcupcakes@hotmail.com
What a day to remember. Trying to keep this cake from not only falling apart but also from melting. It was well worth making it for you PJ and I cannot wait for the next one.
Milky
Sweet & Sour Seafood Hot Pot
Ingredients:
1 lb clam
1 lb tiger prawn (or big tiger prawn, white gulf prawn...)
1 lb white fish fillet (halibut, cod... or combined)
1 bundle Enoki mushroom
0.5 lb fresh calamari
1 bundle on-choy (or yu-choy, cai-choy, bok-choy...)
0.5 lb rice vermicelli (or mung-bean or egg noodle)
For the broth:
8 cups water
1 cup dried shrimp
0.5 lb seawater fish bone (can be substituted by pork bone)
1/2 cup coconut milk
1 tablespoon tamarind concentrate or tamarind paste
2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1.5 tablespoon sugar
2 lemon-grass stalks
2 teaspoon paprika (less if you can't eat hot)
1 teaspoon anato seed (for coloring)
2 tablespoon fish sauce
A little bit salt (about 1 teaspoon)
1 tablespoon chopped dill weed
1 tablespoon chopped green onion
1 tablespoon chopped cilantro
For dipping:
4 tablespoon good fish sauce
1 Fresno chili pepper
Direction
In a pot, heat 1 tablespoon vegetable oil and saute briefly minced garlic, then add in dried shrimp and fish bone and saute on medium heat for about 3 minutes. Add in water and salt then cook on low heat.
If using pork bone, bring to boil about 1 quart water in a separate pot and then add in pork bone. Bring to boil again, turn off the oven then transfer pork bone to the dried shrimp pot.
Bring the pot to boil then simmer for about 1 hour. Skim any fat or sediment on the broth surface.
Meanwhile, prepare vegetable and the seafood. Wash the clam thoroughly. Wash the prawn in cold water mixed with a little bit salt, then pat dry on paper towel and reserve. Cut the fish fillet into bite-size pieces. Wash and drain the calamari then chop into rings (if you can't find good calamari, it's okay to just skip it. I've not found calamari in Seattle which is as great as in Vietnam, so my hot-pot usually doesn't contain it).
Discard any wilted leaf and tough stems from the on-choy. You can substitute on-choy with other vegetable which should work okay, but on-choy is the best for seafood hot-pots. Fill the sink with cool water then soak the vegetable. Drain the sink and do it again for 2-3 times to make sure on-choy is thoroughly washed.
Boil the rice vermicelli according to package instruction. If using mung-bean noodle, soak it in warm water for 20-30 minutes then let drain on a colander. If using egg noodle, just serve it.
Place the on-choy and seafood on a serving platter and noodle on a smaller separate bowl or plate.
About 25 minutes before serving, rinse lemongrass, discard hard roots and green part and outer layer. Use a meat tenderizer to tenderize the lemongrass and to release more flavor. Add into the broth pot.
5-10 minutes before serving, add into the broth: sugar, fish sauce, coconut milk.
In a very small pan, heat up a little bit additional oil (just about 1/2 tablespoon) and saute anato seed and paprika very quickly to release the color. Add this mixture into the broth.
Rinse the chili pepper, discard stem then chop finely.
Divide dipping fish sauce into 2 individual dipping bowls (if serving bigger party, use 2 tablespoon fish sauce/person). Add in chopped chili pepper. No need to mix fish sauce with any other spices.
Almost done! Now the broth must be ready. Strain all the bone, dried shrimp and anato seed in the broth. Transfer the broth to a hot-pot pan.
Bring everything to the table. Turn on the hot-pot pan. Let the broth boil again then cook the seafood and vegetable on the table and enjoy:)
Hot-pot is popular everywhere in Vietnam. This is definitely not a traditional
dish, but it has been so popular thanks for its convenience and fun. Unlike
other dinner dishes in which the hosts are more or less "slaving" in the kitchen
to please the guests, hot-pot is a lot simpler, easier to prepare and has
everything needed for a balance meal: vegetable, meat, carbohydrate (from
noodle), all in one. Another goodness about hot-pot is all the ingredients are
raw, spice-free and will be cooked on the table, therefore people can taste the
fresh flavor of the ingredients. Then, after all the meat, seafood and
vegetable are cooked in the broth, and you use that broth for the noodle,
that's gonna be the best noodle you've ever had.
The fun thing about hot-pot
is everybody cooks for himself since everyone picks out whatever piece of meat
or vegetable he likes and cooks it on the table. Then, the dinner can last
forever, still taste hot and fresh as you just keep cooking, serving yourself
then begin another round and another round (until ingredients run out or you're
pigged out).
My family always does hot-pot for Tet (the Vietnamese version
of Chinese new year). Gathering around a smoking hot-pot with couple cups of
wine with friends and family is simply attractive enough to make everyone want
to go home. You can find hot-pot in every restaurants, even there're streets
where all they sell is hot-pot. If you're in Hanoi in the winter time, you'll
find a whole Truc Bach street is jammed with people sitting around on the
pavement with a hot-pot at the centerpiece. Hot-pot taste differs from areas in
Vietnam: the Southern hot-pot has more sweet and sour flavor in the broth, the
Central hot-pot is totally spicy while the Northern hot-pots is less sweet, less
spicy and has more distinctive recipes lnowhere else has like: dog hot-pot (Me
Tri village, suburban Hanoi ), intestine hot-pot (Phung Hung street,
Hanoi).
The following recipe is one of southern-style hotpot. The key thing
for success is the meat or seafood must be good and fresh. Serve 2 as whole meal
or 4 as entree.
Music: Home again by Daena Jay
Sinking I'm sinking fast
in your eyes
the memories dance
waking up this heart of mine
this crazy love
it's you and I
cant you see
this was meant to be
so far from where we've been
we'll carry on the ties that never end
will bring us home again
The distance,
So far and wide.
I long for,
You by my side.
Waking up this heart of mine,
This crazy love,
It's you and I.
Can you see,
This was meant to be.
So far from where we've been,
We'll carry on,
The ties that never end,
Will bring us home again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_S7LW73vfA
Citrus - Lemon Meringue Pie
Crust
1 1/4 all-purpose flour
1/2 cup less 1 tablespoon chilled butter diced
2 tablespoon sugar
1 egg yolk
2-3 tablespoons cold water
Filling
2 tablespoons of cornstarch
2/3 cup sugar
2/3 cup water
finely grated zest of two lemons
juice of 1 lemon
2 tablespoon butter
2 egg yolks
Meringue
3 egg whites
3/4 cup sugar
2)Knead the dough briefly on a lightly floured surface, then cover with plastic food wrap and chill for 30 minutes. Roll out the dough and use to line a 9-inch pie pan. Prick the pastry shell with a fork and chill for 20 minutes.
3)Line the pastry shell with parchment paper and ceramic baking beans and bake in a preheated oven, 425f, for 10 minutes. Remove the paper and beans and bake for a further 10-12 minutes, or until crisp and golden. Remove from the oven and reduce the temperature to 400f.
4)To make the filling, mix the cornstarch and sugar in a heavy pan. Stir in the measured water and lemon zest and juice until well blended. Bring to a boil, stirring until the sauce is thickened and smooth. Take it off the heat and stir in the butter. Let cool slightly.
5)Whisk the egg yolks in a bowl with 2 tablespoons of the sauce, then return this mixture to the pan. Cook gently until the sauce has thickened further and poor it into the pastry shell. Return to the oven for 15 minutes until the filling has set.
6)Beat the egg whites until they stand stiff peaks. Whisk in 1 tablespoon of sugar, then fold in the rest. Spread the mixture so that it completely covers the filling and bake in the oven for 10 minutes until the meringue is lightly golden. Serve hot or cold.
It really turn out great and I would love to make it for your mother, SC.
Milky
Weeknd - High for this
You don't know what's in store
But you know what you're here for
Close your eyes
Lay yourself beside me
Hold tight for this ride
We don't need no protection
Come alone
We don't need attention
Open your hand
Take a glass
Don't be scared
I'm right here
Even though you don't roll
Trust me girl
You wanna be high for this
Take it off
You want it off
'Cause I know what you're feeling
It's okay girl I feel it too
Let it beat baby breathe
I swear I'm right here
We'll be good; I promise
We'll be so good
Open your hand
Take a glass
Don't be scared
I'm right here
Even though you don't roll
Trust me girl
You wanna be high for this
Love you
At this moment, my heart is both filled with pure and beautiful love for you and yet, is so heart broken. Over the past few days we have said things that hurt each other and I apologize with everything that I am that is good, true and pure. Your words have cut me deeply and it pains me to think that you could walk away from me, from us and never look back. I want to believe that you just said the words but that your heart that has love for me, would have kicked in and you would have fought to get me back. But I know that would not be the case. Which is why I am honestly hurting for the future I dream of, one I hope has you in it. My hope is that you will forgive me for my faults and will be able to accept me, the way I am - not perfect.
I have never regreted loving you, nor will I ever because loving you was right for me and I will always hold onto that love for you, no matter whats happens.
Milky
TRuE LoVe wAiTs
Love can be haunting and exciting all rolled up in one package. Sometimes, it is perfect even when we are not. It is grand and feels so good because true love waits for you in the dark and in the silence. It waits to find you when you do not think it is there - IT IS! You stand there speechless and you look back to the very moment it found you but you never seem to be able to re-catch that moment. It really does not matter when it happened, it ONLY matters that it did matter and it did happen.
It is then when you realize you have love - true love - that you just hold onto it for whatever time you have. Take it and enjoy every single moment with that person that makes you feel so amazing.
Live each day in laughter and embrace love like the sun embraces your smile. Feel that warmth that melts the ice in your heart and hold still while you hear your love song play in the background.
Learn to love many times and when love leaves you have the strength to love, again and again. Show yourself that you matter and you are important, love can be cruel but it is also kind. Grab hope and take it! TAKE IT - for yourself.
Love is in everything, it is in the sun that kisses your face, it is in the wind that whispers softly in your ear, it is the tears that rolls down your face and it is always within you holding you close.
Milky
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbjMEUmwp2o&feature=related
Falling to pieces
i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing
just praying to a god that i don't believe in
cause i got time while she got freedom
cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even
her best days are some of my worst
she'll find a man a man who's gonna put her first
while i'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even oooohh
what am i supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
and what am i supposed to say when i'm all choked up and you're okay
i'm falling to pieces
i'm falling to pieces
they say bad things happen for a reason
but no wise word's gonna stop the bleeding
cause she's moved on while i'm still grieving
and when a heart breaks, no it don't break even,even oooh
and what am i gonna do when the best part of me was always you
and what am i supposed to say when i'm all choked up and you're okay
i'm falling to pieces, i'm falling to pieces
i'm falling to pieces, i'm falling to pieces
i'm still alive but the other one's leaving
cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even
you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
you took your suitcase, i took the blame
now i'm tryin' make sense of what little remains, oh
cause you left me with no love and no love to my name
i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing
just prayed to a god that i don't believe in
cause i got time while she got freedom
cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even
no it don't break, no, it don't break even, no
what am i supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
and what am i supposed to say when i'm all choked up and you're okay
i'm falling to pieces, i'm falling to pieces
i'm falling to pieces
one's still in love while the other one's leaving
i'm falling to pieces
cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even
oh it don't break even
you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
you took your suitcase, i took the blame
now i'm tryin' make sense of what little remains, oh
cause you left me with no love and no love to my name
i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing
just prayed to a god that i don't believe in
cause i got time while she got freedom
cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even
no it don't break, no, it don't break even, no
what am i supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
and what am i supposed to say when i'm all choked up and you're okay
i'm falling to pieces, i'm falling to pieces
i'm falling to pieces
one's still in love while the other one's leaving
i'm falling to pieces
cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even
oh it don't break even
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