Lost but will be found? When? How?

I have so much on my mind, perhaps to much to deal with and it is a lot to take because everything has changed for me. The world is big, it is real and it is scary. I want to run away, I want to lose myself and be any where but here and now.


There are days that I am able to focus and breathe, for a few moments but that is just it - "only a few moments." Once reality kicks back in - awww... I feel - I feel the lost and the pain of you. Hmmmm... I think that the pain has to weaken but when? How? Just breathe... I know.


When I close my eyes, I see you, I feel you and I hear your voice. I know it so well and it seems so real in my mind but it is suppose to fade away. When? hmmm.... How?


I daze off sometimes and I wonder how you are or what you have done with your time. But of course there is no answers to my questions and I am always asking the same questions. My heart hurts and this hole is big and haunting. Will it ever stop? When? How?


I daze off and catch myself smiling at things you did or said. You could make me smile so bright and there was such laughter and a glow in each one. (she smiles, even now) awww... Hi, love. Soon the tears will fall again because that love is gone. 


I lose myself in thoughts and memories that I cannot hide - no - not even from myself. So, yes - I lose myself and will I ever find who I am, again or who I want to be? Hmmmmm... When? How?


So many days lost and not just of us lost - NO! It is more then losing you, or us. It was that I am lost - everything I am is stuck somewhere but where? - that is really a question in my mind.


Is it good to just forget? Does it help you to forget and are you able to breathe and feel good, again? awwww, I want that! I want really want that - feel good, again. 

Milky

Hey, I'll move out of the way for you

Hey, I'll move out of the way for her too

I never know what to do with my love

I never know what to do with my hands

So I put them behind my back

I put them behind my back

Behind my back

Can I move out of the way tomorrow?

Can I move into the way tonight?

Hey, don't you know what it means when I say "hey"?

Hey see it in my face, I'm breaking

I've waited for so long

Just to know

That you'd wrap yourself around me if you couldn't let go

-Let Go by Ingrid Michaelson