...I am of course not sleeping. I am so tired and I have had about two hours, maybe three hours of sleep in the last few days. This morning I had such a low that I nearly crushed. My body was shaking and I could barely understand what was happening. 2.9 was my read which is dangerously low. Not good. I guess I did not eat and took twice as much insulin? I barely know what I am doing when I am this tired.
My sister is here for four days, thank goodness. I was ready to lose myself. I needed the help. We had a few good laughs, the kind that make you pee a little, have a few tears and takes your breathe away. It is moments like this that I miss and enjoy. It is to bad that it is few and very far in between. I wish I could have more family time with my siblings and my closest friends.
I feel myself drafting more into my dark place but as I try to pull away, I find more reason to stay in the dark. Who would really notice if I were gone? How long would it take for someone to say something or to ask? I have not been a matter to anyone for such a long time not. And yet it seem like yesterday you told me you loved me. But that is dead and gone. Life is not much for love, now. Either am I.
Milky
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