Just when I think I am okay it turns out to be another lie I tell myself. Or I must want to believe that I am. I start to think about the past year and I am overwhelm by it. I would rather be hit or punch because the emotional heartache and pain never heals. It is far more painful then a sucker punch.
Emotional pain does not heal like cut or bruises. It does not fade away the same way and when you think you can breathe, again it turns out - you cannot. Now, you are always thinking about all that went wrong and all the mistakes you made and what was the point of everything? That just leads to more f*ucken questions.
All I think about is what if this happen or what if that happen. What if I did it this way or that way, what would have happened? In the end all the what if's cause more pain to my heart.
I hate everything that had happened and yet I miss a lot of it. I know it is so bloody messed up! I am drowning on the inside and I do not know what to do. I want to fight but fight for what. I have no energy.
Milky
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