I gave up...

...on getting help. I started the medications and therapy but it did not work out for me. It has been months since I saw the doctor and taken anything. What is the point, really? Everyday I feel the same hurt and pain. I miss you and it does not go away. I made mistakes and my punishment is this! This god forsaken life of pain and loneliness. Everyday that I am alone ( when I say alone I really mean alone ) I am alone 98% everyday. I do not talk to anyone, unless you want to count my dogs. My sister has come up a few times and that is the 2% of not being alone.

I see not point to living. I have no purpose and no one needs me. So what is the point. A doctor or pills are not going to save me from the darkness that eats away at me. There is not a day that goes by that I wish for you to save me from all of this but you are gone, so now I wish for death to take me quickly but it is taking it's time and I hate it.

Milky