What has happened to, what I am going through is bigger then me and everyday it is a battle that I have to fight with in my mind. Not being able to talk about or having to keep it inside has made me suffer in the great and worse ways. Right now, I feel that I cannot go on and everyone keeps telling me that I me and that I will. So, why do I not see or even feel it.
I am so tired, why did this happen to me? I was smart, honest and I could do anything. Sometimes, it came easy while other times I pushed and fought back. I was respected and I helped others, not hurt them. Out of no where, in one day it was all gone, I was gone and I lost who I was and what made me strong, good and true.
No one could ever image how hard all of this has been for me or even how selfish I feel for saying this now, saying any of this, now. But if I could just through and endure all of the bottoms, maybe the tops and highs will allow me to thrive and shine. To be able to turn down the anxiety and pressure, it could only bring me peace, achieve a normal life once again? I know I have to be patience and allow others to help me but how do I let go - how do I let you in? How do I take your hand?
Milky
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ytGTtn7q5c
All Waters by Perfume Genius
when all waters
still
and flowers cover the earth
when no tree's shivering
and the dust
settles in the desert
when i can take your hand
on any crowded
street
and hold you close to me
with no hesitating
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